最高级的“自圆其说”——读后续写写作技巧

山东省胶州市第二中学 王冬冬老师先上个逻辑推理题：三个逻辑学家走进酒吧，侍者问：“每个人都要来杯啤酒吗？”第一个逻辑学家说：“我不知道。”第二个说：“我也不知道。”第三个说：“  ?  ”请作答。硬着头皮作答的人也许会说“我也不知道”，反正大家都不知道，我也不好意思拿主意，所幸从善如流，提供个统一答案吧。逻辑高手会说“是的”。因为第一位说的是不知道是否三个人都要酒，但自己如果不要酒肯定就说不是，所以他自己肯定要酒，不知道其他两位是否要酒；第二位推理出第一位要酒，但不知道第三位是否要酒，所以同理他自己是要酒的，那么第三个人推理出前两个都要酒，自己也要，当然会给肯定的回答。由这个小小的逻辑推理题，我们可以联想到读后续写题型。该题型的评分标准中要求：阅卷评分时，应主要从内容、语言表达和篇章结构三个方面考虑，具体为：（1）创造内容的质量，续写的完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。（2）使用词汇和语法结构的准确性，恰当性和多样性。（3）上下句的衔接性和上下文的连贯性。这就不难总结出高考读后续写的阅卷评分标准特别强调考生续写作文与所给材料的融洽度和衔接程度。与“自圆其说”相比，又提出了更高的标准。现以2021年新高考卷读后续写“A MOTHER’S DAY SURPRISE”为例，我们先来感受下续写部分的原文，额，然后再来吐个槽……

笔者认为主要槽点如下：① “神人”爸爸只需瞅了一眼便一切了然于心？②爸爸决定帮孩子们做早饭，这样真的好吗？符合主流价值观吗？③&④ 爸爸做完好事功成身退并假寐。很有想象力，但是与此构思共鸣的考生不会太多。⑤Jeff为啥想要咬一口略显突兀不自然。下面请大家看另一version的下水作文，让我们跟着这篇范文一起感受剧情的发展并回眸原文。A MOTHER’S DAY SURPRISEThe twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother’s Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeff’s hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared. He must have been woken by Jeff’s cry. He was shocked to find that the kitchen was in a mess and that Jeff ’s hand had been burnt. Hearing Jenna explained what they were doing, Father understood their excellent idea and intended to join them. Under his guidance, Jenna turned down the fire to cook another bread while Jeff paid close attention to the porridge in case it boiled over. Half an hour later, to their satisfaction, breakfast was done and perfect.The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.The moment she glimpsed the breakfast which was giving off a lingering sweet scent, Mom's eyes were moistened. When she took a bite of bread and tasted the porridge, the twins looked anxious, wondering if mom would like their special present. “This is the most delicious delicacy in the world,” she praised. Mom appreciated them and their unique gift. She was pleased and proud of the Mother’s Day surprise she got.1爸爸是闻声下楼的，与原文的“he gave a cry of pain”回扣，而且爸爸也看到Jeff 的手受伤了。对原文有交代。2一般读后续写的原文是抛出一个悬而未决的问题，而续写部分主要是解决问题的。许多考生针对续写第一段无从下手，不得已重复描写了双胞胎在厨房兵荒马乱的场景。其实原文已经给出两个已知条件，分别是1）Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge.2）Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.所以在续写一段，应该重在描写双胞胎在爸爸的指导之下如何挽救“黑暗料理”，让兵荒马乱归于井然有序。3