读后续写高分突破攻略，范例精讲 / 开普饭

前段时间推送了读后续写的写作素材读后续写超全素材：如何让心理描写“活”起来，后台有同学问有没有读后续写的万能模板。

今天，我们以近年读后续写真题为例，跟大家分享一个读后续写的写作模板。

这个模板不是万能的，如果有同学还不清楚读后续写结构、不知道如何下笔，这个模式起码会帮他们拿到基本分。对基础扎实的同学来说，后面的进阶部分能帮大家快速提分。

一般来说，完成一篇完整的记叙文写作，需要选取合适的角度、按照一定的顺序组织素材进行叙述，其中包括六个基本要素：时间、地点、人物，事情的起因、经过和结果，即我们通常所说的五个“W”（what, who, when, where, why）和一个“H”（how）。除此之外，鲜明的主题和生动的语言，也是一篇优秀的记叙文所不可或缺的。

先以2021年1月掀翻了微博热搜的浙江卷读后续写为例：

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

Pumpkin (南瓜）carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin. My dad has a rule that we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldestchild I have an advantage — I carried an 85-pounder back last year.

This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14-year-old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides, but I was determined to prove my point. All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event. I’m unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.

With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole uppermost, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry. Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.

My excitement was short-lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I’m going to set it down,now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straight forward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed space.

注意：

1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；

3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；

4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。

Paragraph1

I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer._______________________________________________________________

Paragraph2

That video was posted the day before Halloween.____________________________________________________________

·思路点拨

一、文本细解读，确定读后续写后续

本文是一篇记叙文，文章主要讲述了“我们家”一直有个传统活动：每年十月份万圣节前，一家人一起到当地农场挑南瓜，“我”和弟弟妹妹比赛看谁选的南瓜大。往年“我”都赢了，可今年“我”的南瓜和弟弟的不分伯仲。为了证明“我”的南瓜大，“我”把头塞进了挖空的南瓜里，没想到，“我”的头卡在南瓜里了。

续写部分是故事的结局，讲述“我”的头是如何从南瓜里出来的，以及家里人都做了什么。根据文章内容可以知道，当时一家人都在厨房里，妈妈在录像。因此续写结局可以从谁帮“我”切开南瓜，把“我”的头“释放”出来，妈妈拍完视频后，将其传到了互联网上。

二、段首句解读，确定续写方法

第一段首句：

“I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer.”—“我的头在南瓜里卡了大概有五六分钟，但我觉得特别漫长”，

第二段首句：

“That video was posted the day before Halloween.”——“万圣节前一天视频传到了网上”。

由第一段首句可知，第一段内容必须描写“我”当时的恐慌情绪。第二段开头承前启后，既说明“我的头卡在南瓜里”这件事情结束了，又点明了事件接下来的发展“妈妈拍了视频，并且传到了网上”。此时我们知道，第一段结尾要说明“妈妈拍摄了视频”，第二段需要讲述视频发布后的故事。

三、划线词解读，规划续写细节

1、划线词分类

人物：dad， Jason， mom

事物：Pumpkin， head， nose

动作：managed，support，rest，pulled

2、构思具体情节

第一段情节：

我的头卡在南瓜里，我感到时间漫长——我开始惊慌，哭泣——爸爸（dad）走过来，帮我把头（head）靠在桌子上，让我能够休息（rest）——爸爸和弟弟（Jason）一起将南瓜切成两半，我能够（manage）把头从南瓜里拉（pull）出来了，妈妈（mom）走过来，告诉我她把整个过程拍下来了。

第二段情节：

万圣节前一天视频传到了网上——上传之前，妈妈问我是否可以上传——我觉得视频里的自己有点傻，而且有点尴尬，但是回看又觉得很有趣，于是支持（support）了妈妈的建议——视频上传之后，我成了网络名人。

完成了续写内容的结构，接下来开始撰写全文。要写出一篇有血有肉的读后续写，必定离不开两条线：情节线、情感线。情节线和情感线都可以靠描写动作、表情、情绪、环境变化等体现。

·范文解读

我们来看范文是怎么写的：

Paragraph 1

I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer. Growing more panic, I began to cry. Fortunately, hearing me crying, dad came and helped me lay my head on the table, so my neck could rest for a while. Then he said to me “Listen, honey. I have to cut this pumpkin in half. ” I had no choice but to keep still with my eyes tightly closed and listening to the knife moving on the pumpkin. Moments later, my head was finally released from this horrible pumpkin cage. Then mom told me she had just filmed me managing to pull my head out ofthe pumpkin.

Paragraph 2

That video was posted the day before Halloween. Actually my mom had asked whether she could post it on the Internet, because after all I was so embarrassed and looked so silly in it. Anyway, I nodded and supported her idea. It turned out that people liked and forwarded it crazily on the Internet, only to make me an Internet celebrity.

情感线：

Growing more panic, I began to cry.
I had no choice but
I was so embarrassed and looked so silly
I nodded and supported her idea

情节线：

dad came and helped me lay my head on the table, so my neck could rest for a while.
cut this pumpkin in half.
keep still with my eyes tightly closed
the knife moving on the pumpkin
my head was finally released

managing to pull my head out of the pumpkin.
mom told me she had just filmed me
my mom had asked whether she could post it
people liked and forwarded it crazily on the Internet,
make me an Internet celebrity.

本文续写部分包括将“我”的头从南瓜释放出来和“我”的视频传到了网上，情节转折大，所以续写时就要着重情节的推进，情感线辅之。

本文情节的推进都是靠人物的动作完成的，想写好这部分，就要求同学们日常多积累动作描写，以免在考场上脑子一片空白。

·动作描写素材

高级的人物动作描写，会涉及到人的“全身”：头部动作、眼睛动作、五官动作、四肢以及全身动作：