这种男人只用下半身思考
Thursday
错了！可能完全不是这么回事。
在一次约会以后，你发现这个prince charming（女子想象中的王子）好像对发展一段长期感情没有多大兴趣。他只是暂时喜欢你的身体而已。
为了避免最后的失落，以下10条他并不是真心想要跟你在一起的微妙表现，要留意一下。
1. He only notices how you look.
他只注意到你的外貌。
While it's great when someone appreciates your appearance and how terrific you look, you want to be loved and adored for your inner qualities, too. Men who are sincerely interested in a relationship with you - will compliment you for qualities such as your intelligence, sense of humor and values. Men who are focused on having sex with you will tell you how great your hair looks or hot your ass looks in that dress.
听到别人夸你漂亮是件很高兴的事情，但是你同样希望爱你的内在。真诚希望跟你开始一段感情的男人会赞美你的聪明，幽默感，和其他品质。只想和你发生关系的男人会告诉你，你的头发很美或者你的身材很好。
What to do: Next time he makes a comment about your looks, ask him to tell you what inner qualities about you he likes (e.g. intelligence, creativity, sense of humor).
怎么破? 下次他再夸你外表的时候，问他喜欢你的什么内涵。（例如：聪明，创造性，幽默感）
2. Conversations always turns sexual.
对话总能变得无节操
When he phones to talk with you and regardless of the topic - he finds a way to bring sex into the conversation. You tell him about your successful sales presentation and he remarks how about how the client probably couldn't take his eyes off you because you're so beautiful and look so hot in your business suit. When you tell him you can hardly wait to go home and just soak in a hot bath, he's quick to tell you, he wishes he could be there to wash your back.
当他跟你打电话时，不管什么话题，他总能把“性”加到聊天中。你跟他说你做了一个很成功的销售演示的时候，他评价说客户多半没法把目光从你身上移开，因为你穿工作装的造型太美了。你跟他说你迫不及待想回家泡在浴缸里休息一下，他说他想来帮你搓背。
What to do: Let him know that what really turns you on is when his comments don't bring sex into the conversation.
怎么破？告诉他什么时候他聊天的时候没有性的内容，什么时候就能愉快聊天了。
3. Texts and emails are flirty.
发消息和邮件总不忘调情
Players, who only have a sexual interest in you, use texts and emails as opportunities to turn the discussion into sexual conversation. You just got home and are unwinding, he texts, "What are you wearing right now?" You're shopping for vegetables at the grocery store, he texts, "Wouldn't it be hot to make love right there among the strawberries?"
只喜欢你身体的男人，会抓住发消息和邮件的机会把聊天变得有性趣。你刚到家放松一下，他就来消息“你现在穿的啥呢？”你在超市买菜的时候，他来消息“相约在那堆草莓旁边岂不是很刺激？”
By contrast, men who are sincerely interested in you will ask how you feel? How's your work project coming along?
相反，真正对你有兴趣的男人会问你感觉怎么样了？你的工作进展咋样了？
What to do: Don't respond to the content of his text.
怎么破？直接不回。
4. Dates are pizza at your place.
约会在你家里吃比萨
Men who are interested in courting you and getting to know you - want to be out in public, doing things with you, whether it's going to a gallery opening or a chic new restaurant for a romantic dinner. Men who are only interested in sex don't want to invest time or money in developing a relationship with you. They are looking for convenience and the easiest way to gratify their needs.
真正想了解你，保护你的男人，会想和你在公共场合出现，不管是参加艺术展，还是一个新的餐厅共进浪漫晚餐。只用下半身思考的男人不愿花钱和时间来跟你发展一段感情。他们会寻找最简便的方式来满足他们的需求。
Remember: Men who want to be your boyfriend take you on dates, whereas men who only want your body take you to their place (or meet you at yours).
请记住，想做你男朋友的男人会和你约会，而想和你xx的男人只想把你带回他家（或者你家）。
What to do: Don't accept a dinner invitation where he picks up dinner. Instead, let him know that you want to go out for a casual dinner.
怎么破？不要接受他自带晚餐的邀请。告诉他，你想要出去吃一顿随便的晚餐。
5. Their idea of entertainment is watching a movie or listening to music.
他们想的娱乐就是电影和听音乐
Men who are interested in developing a relationship with you, want to share activities and cultural events with you. They want to get to know you better to make sure you're a fit for them, too. It's important they make a good impression on you that says: "I'm an interesting man who enjoys doing different things." They want to know if you're compatible with each other in many areas - not just sexually.
想要和你发展一段感情的男人，他会和你分享文化类的活动。他们想更好地了解你，这样才能知道你对他们是否合适。想给你留一个“我是个喜欢尝试不同东西的有趣的人”的印象是很重要的。他们想知道你们是否能够在各方面磨合好。
A man who just wants to bed you, realizes that bringing over pizza under the guise of a date won't fly very long. So, to placate you and even deal with the boredom he may feel in your company, he'll suggest you get together to watch a movie or listen to music at your place (or his). This creates the illusion that you're doing more than just having sex when you're together. But his planned goal is always to have sex when the movie is finished.
用下半身思考的男人，会打着约会的旗号(一个不会持续很久的约会)，带个比萨过来。为了让气氛不那么无聊，他会建议在你家（或他家）看电影或者听音乐。这个会造成一个假象：你们在一起的时候不仅仅是为了发生关系。但其实他是计划是在看完电影之后。
What to do: Don't agree to watch a video at your place or his. Instead, suggest an activity that gets you out of your place.
怎么破？不要同意在你家或者他家看电影。建议去一个室外的活动。
6. He gets angry if you don't want to have sex.
如果你不想，他会生气
When a man loves your company and enjoys being with you - he just wants to be near you. You can invite him over to play a board game or to watch a movie. When you're done, you can say, "Hey... I'm tired and I have an early day at work." He's happy that you hung out together and satisfied just being in your company.
当一个人喜欢陪你的时候，他仅是喜欢呆在你身旁。你可以邀请他来玩一个桌游或者看一部电影。当结束的时候，你可以说“hey，我很累了，明早还要上班”，他也会很快乐因为你和他一起出去玩了，仅仅呆你身边他就满足了。
But when you tell a man who's using you for sex, "Thanks for coming over tonight but I have to wake up and drive to the airport for a very early flight," - he'll pressure you to have quick sex. If you aren't receptive, he may become angry at not getting his way.
但是当你对一个渣男说“谢谢你今晚过来，我明早有一个很早的航班，得起早开车去机场”，他会给你压力想要速战速决，如果你不接受，他们会因为得不到满足而变得生气。
What to do: If he gets upset at your refusal of sex, don't argue. Just say goodnight.
怎么破：如果他因为你拒绝而郁闷，别理他，就说“晚安”。
7. Hug, kiss and then straight to your bedroom.
抱抱，亲亲，就直接到你房间了。
In a relationship where someone is excited about knowing you, curious about your life and what you think, there are so many things to talk about. In a relationship where someone is only interested in using you for sex, there's nothing important to discuss. A man who's using you for sex doesn't want to spend time chitchatting about your day or what you think about the big events in the news. That crash in the Andes that killed 200 people, or the latest terrorist act by ISIS, are not worth discussing. Instead, he's quick to grab your hand and march you over to the bedroom to have sex with you.
在一段感情里面，他总是因更了解你而激动，好奇你的生活和你的想法，有很多可以聊的。如果这段关系里面他只对性有兴趣，那么这没啥好聊的。他不想花时间跟你漫谈你的一天或者你对什么大事件的看法，什么安第斯山的坠机事故死了200人，最近ISIS的恐怖袭击等都没什么好讨论的，他只想快点牵着你手走进卧室。
What to do: As soon as you sense you're being pushed into a bedroom scenario where you'll be used for sex, stop and tell him that you aren't in the mood.
怎么破？一旦感觉他在把你引向卧室，就此打住告诉他你没心情。
8. Foreplay is over quickly.
前戏结束得太快。
When a man truly likes you, respects you and sees you as a prospect for a long-term relationship, he begins to have intimate feelings for you. He moves from having sex with you to wanting to make love to you. Foreplay can last a long time because it's so enjoyable to hug, kiss and touch everywhere. The joy is in the journey - not the destination of an orgasm. The man who wants to sexually use you doesn't need much kissing or touching. His body is ready for the sex act quickly and he's not thinking about your satisfaction. He's thinking only about his gratification.
一个真正喜欢你的男人，会尊重你，会看到跟你一段长期感情的前景，他会对你有亲密的感觉。前戏持续很长，因为抱抱，亲亲和其他接触是非常愉快的。快乐在于过程，而不是那一个点。一个只用下半身思考的男人不需要那么多亲亲抱抱，他只想着速度与激情，不会太在意你的感受。
What to do: If you sense foreplay is being rushed, stop and gently ask him to slow down so that you can catch up.
怎么破？如果你感觉太仓促了，打住，然后柔和地叫他缓下来。
9. He never wants to spend the night.
他不想过夜
Obviously, sometimes it's not convenient for new lovers to automatically spend the night after having sex. But the man who wants to have a real and intimate relationship with you, wants to know what's like to lay in bed after sex and just talk. He wants to know what it's like to wake up together and have some morning juice and a cup of coffee. To him, it's part of developing a warm, close connection with you.
很明显，有时候一对新的恋人发生关系之后就直接留下来过夜不是很方便。但是一个真正想和你开始一段感情的男人，想知道你们亲密之后躺在船上聊天是什么样，第二天醒来一起喝果汁和咖啡是什么感觉。对他来说，这是和你发展一段温暖，紧密联系的机会。
The man who uses you for sex will have 100 excuses for why he can't spend the night. "Got a big thing happening at work tomorrow," or "Got a big thing with some friends," or "My family is having a big thing going on." The reason why is that he doesn't want to share an intimate relationship with you. Sex is what he wants; and now that he's gotten it, there's no reason to stay.
而渣男会有100个理由不和你一起过夜。“明天工作有重要的事情”“我朋友有急事”“我家里出大事了”。这是因为他并不想和你发展一段亲密的关系，他得到了自己想要的，所以就没必要呆一起了。
What to do: Invite him to stay before you have sex. If he chronically makes excuses for not staying the night, just accept that he's not interested in an intimate relationship with you or let him know you're looking for a more intimate connection with someone you have sex with.
怎么破？在和他亲密之前，先留他过夜。如果他习惯性地说出不过夜的借口，那就接受他只是用下半身思考的事实，让他知道你需要一个能发展亲密关系的人。
10. When you hear from him, you feel like you're a booty call.
当他找你的时候，你感觉他心不在焉
A man who values you and wants to get to know you, because he's interested in a relationship, makes you feel special and treats you considerately. While he can be spontaneous, he usually calls in advance to make plans. You spend more time out of bed doing things and enjoying each other's company.
一个珍惜你的人会想要了解你，因为他想要一段感情，他会让你感到特别，会很体贴地对待你。他会不由自主，经常会提前打电话。比起床上，你会有更多的时间享受彼此的陪伴。
But a man who's using you for sex thinks nothing of calling you at 1:00 AM or sending you a text to come over. There is a lot of sociologic evidence to suggest that anyone out on the streets after 12 midnight, is on his way to a booty call. The question: is that man on his way to your place?
渣男会觉得即使在凌晨1点给你打电话或发信息让你过去也没有什么。有很多社会证据表明，在12点以后还在街上来往的基本是去约炮路上。问题是：他是在去你家的路上吗？
What to do: Pretend to fall asleep, unless you're thinking in the same way.
怎么破？假装睡着了。除非你是和他一样的想法。
英音美音可以同时切换，对语音有非常尖锐的耳朵和灵活的舌头，能从中国人的角度，教你怎么把英语说地道，可以用西班牙语进行一般交流。20岁做工程师，环绕地球三圈。个人公众号：ScottsEnglish
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