如何避免逼疯你的博士朋友
Six months ago, while writing my thesis, I had a meltdown.
六个月前，写论文的时候,我崩溃了。
I was frustrated learning to use a new data-visualization software, Cytoscape, and found myself on the receiving end of less than glowing feedback from my supervisor on a draft chapter of my thesis.
我在学习使用一种新的数据可视化软件Cytoscape时感到很沮丧，也发现自己在论文初稿上收到的反馈并不怎么好。
My defences were low and the frustration gave way to stress and, eventually, tears.
我的防御能力很低，沮丧形成了压力，最终，变成了眼泪。
Since I began graduate school, the people in my life have been divided into two categories: those who understand what undertaking a PhD is like and those who don’t.
自从我开始读研究生，我生活中的人就被分为两类:一类人知道读博士是什么样子，另一类人不知道。
Even after three years, I still have friends who are surprised that I consider my PhD work to be a full-time job, and that my week includes various meetings, contradicting their idea of timetable-driven, semester-based 'student’ life.
即使三年过去了，我仍然有一些朋友感到惊讶，他们认为我的博士工作是一份全职工作，而我的一周也包括各种各样的会议，这与他们所认为的时间表驱动的、以学期为基础的“学生”生活也是相矛盾的。
I think the act of doing a PhD is often misunderstood, and we, the academic community, have only ourselves to blame.
我认为攻读博士学位的行为经常被误解，不过要怪的话也只能怪我们自己和学术界。
Many of us are guilty of sugar-coating our experiences.
我们许多人都对粉饰自己的经历感到内疚。
We gush over our love of our chosen field, and are enthusiastic about our research, exciting results and the opportunities we get to travel internationally to share them.
我们滔滔不绝地谈论着我们对所选领域的热爱，并对我们的研究、令人兴奋的成果以及我们有机会在国际旅行中分享这些成果充满热情。
But we do little to describe the lows.
但我们很少描述那些沮丧的时候。
Do our friends and family truly understand the constancy with which we are expected to learn, process and put into practice new ideas and techniques?
我们的朋友和家人是否真正理解我们学习、处理和实践新思想和新技术所需要的恒心和毅力呢?
That we can spend weeks researching and planning an experiment for the first time, timidly perform it over the course of several days and wait longer for the results, only to realize that the experiment was a failure?
他们是否明白，我们可以花几周的时间来研究和计划第一次实验，然后在几天的时间里小心翼翼地进行实验，等待更长的结果，最后却发现实验失败了？
Do they understand that repeated and costly failure, mixed with a 'pressure-to-publish’ culture, is a cocktail for stress, disappointment, frustration and self-doubt?
他们是否明白，反复的、代价高昂的失败，再加上“压力山大”的文化，是压力、失望、沮丧和自我怀疑的混合体?
As a PhD candidate, I’m more invested in my graduate studies than in any other study I’ve done before.
作为一名博士研究生，我在研究生学习上的投入比我以前做过的任何其他研究都要多。
Not to alarm those touting work–life balance (it is very important), but my PhD is my life.
别管那些鼓吹工作与生活平衡的人(这很重要)，但我的博士学位就是我的生命。
For PhD students, our work becomes closely aligned with our self-worth, and we take failures hard.
对于博士生来说，我们的工作与自我价值紧密相连，我们很难接受失败。
We need to be resilient, and as we struggle to learn academic resilience, we need our friends and family to understand that what we are feeling isn’t just normal 'job’ stress, and respond to our requests for support accordingly.
我们需要适应力，当我们努力学习学术适应力时，我们需要我们的朋友和家人理解我们感受到的不仅仅是正常的“工作”压力，并相应地回应我们的支持请求。
To achieve this, we need to educate them about the lows and be explicit when describing our needs.
为了实现这一目标，我们需要告诉他们那些沮丧的时刻，在描述我们的需求时也要明确。
PhD students must be noisier when asking for help.
博士生们在寻求帮助时必须更大声。
In that spirit, here’s what I need from my friends and family:
本着这种精神，我需要我的朋友和家人做到以下几点:
· Understand that a PhD is not easy. We aren’t 'really smart’; we just work really hard.
一.要知道博士学位并不容易。我们并不“非常聪明”;我们只是工作很努力。
· There are many highs and lows. Our self-worth is closely aligned with our work, and when things go wrong, it can really feel like the end of the world.
二.读博士时有很多欢喜和痛苦。我们的自我价值与我们的工作紧密相连，当事情出错时，真的会感觉像是世界末日。
· Remind us that it isn’t actually the end of the world. Remind us that every day is a new day and that today’s struggles are a normal part of the scientific process. Remind us we are still students.
三.要提醒我们这并不是世界末日。要提醒我们，每一天都是新的一天，今天的斗争是科学进程的正常组成部分。要提醒我们，我们还是学生。
· Encourage us when we are puzzling over a protocol or wrangling with how to analyse a new set of data — it can help us to overcome our self-doubt, because we often forget that we are skilled enough to have been accepted into our programmes to begin with.
四.当我们为一项实验而困惑，或者为如何分析一组新数据而争吵时，要鼓励我们——它可以帮助我们克服自我怀疑，因为我们经常会忘记其实我们有足够的技能，我们的项目从一开始才会被接受。
· Please don’t ask us when we’ll finish and what life after graduate school holds — we might not know yet, and that can be scary. We will tell you when we know. There are a lot of unknowns; instead, tell us you will be there no matter how it turns out.
五.请不要问我们什么时候毕业，研究生毕业后的生活会是什么样的——我们可能还不知道，这可能很可怕。我们知道后会告诉你的。有很多未知;相反，告诉我们无论结果如何，你都会在那里支持我们。
Back at my desk, calling my mum in tears, she asked me what I was stressed about.
当我回到我的办公桌前，哭着打电话给我妈妈时，她问我为什么这么有压力。
I sniffed before dramatically exclaiming, “Everything!”
我哭着抽了抽鼻子，然后大声地喊道:“这一切!”
There was no specific reason for my stress that day. It really was everything: a culmination of the entire PhD experience compressed into the tiny pinpoint of that particular day.
那天我的压力没有什么特别的原因。它真的是一切:整个博士经历的酸甜苦辣浓缩在了那一天的点点滴滴里。
We don’t know if our next experiment will work, if we’ll finish on time, if our next paper will be rejected or if we will even have permanent jobs when it’s all done and dusted.
我们不知道我们的下一个实验是否会成功，我们是否会按时完成，我们的下一篇论文是否会被拒绝，甚至当它完成并重新开始时，我们是否会有一份固定的工作。
Some days, our resilience can waver and a multitude of stressors that hover on the periphery can come bearing down on us.
有时候，我们的适应力可能会动摇，而许多徘徊在外围的压力源可能会向我们施加压力。
On those days when we waver — as people do in any profession — we need our loved ones to empathize deeply, and remind us that tomorrow is a new day.
在那些我们动摇的日子里——就像任何职业的人一样——我们需要我们所爱的人深深的同情，并提醒我们明天是新的一天。
— END —
问题
文中提到人们对博士生活普遍有哪些误解？
A.全职工作
B.天天上课
C.天天开会
D.天天做实验
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