他们说，或许，爱不过源于想象
最近，为了锻炼自己的英语水平，打算不定时进行双语写作。《飘》是我最为喜爱的小说之一，这部80万字的小说，原版读过3遍。对于喜爱的书籍，我总会多遍几遍。大学时期，从“爱情”、“人物分析”切入，撰写过两篇学期论文。今天，想以散文的形式，再一次结合它，来谈点”爱“的感悟。
中英文都是我所写，一并分享给大家。配乐是我很喜欢的一首歌，水木年华的《中学时代》，他们唱道“爱是什么，我不知道，我不懂永远，我不懂自己......"正好契合我当下的心境。
文/温佛佳
Distinctly, I remember a chilly autumn day when wandering along a street lined by tall trees on both sides, I, almost all of a sudden, was overwhelmed by a strong feeling of sadness and desperation.
我清晰地记得，某个凉气逼人的秋日，自己一人沿着一条大街漫无目地地散步，街道两旁，行道树静静矗立着。突然，一股强劲的悲伤与绝望，将我紧紧攫住。
Exactly for what reason, I could not quite figure out at that time, and all I knew was that tears welled up in both my eyes and I struggled violently against the impulse to dial that once so familiar number and begged for his come-back.
至于为何情绪来袭，那个当儿，我也不甚明白。只记得，泪水充盈了眼眶，我狠狠地想要去抑制那股强烈的冲动：去拨打那个我曾如此熟悉的号码，渴求他能回来。
Well, anyway, I have to tell you the truth at that time I just broke up with a boy I had been planning to spend the rest of my life with. It is just over totally and completely even before I realized it. Forever, he is gone, leaving nothing but my fragmentized heart.
当然，得说实话，那时候，我刚刚和一个男孩分手。那个男孩，我曾打算与他共度余生。但最终，那段持续了4年的感情，甚至在我还没有明白发生了什么之前，就完全地彻底地结束了。他永远离开了，留下我支离破碎的心。
So, at that chilly autumn day, what did haunt me was
a complex and complicated problem, a seemingly annoying problem ---what, to be exact, is love.
因此，在那个秋风料峭的日子，萦绕我心头的是一个复杂而看似恼烦的问题——究竟，什么是爱？
Whenever I cannot find a satisfactory answer to a certain issue in the real life, it is just I who will turn to books I have read for help.
每当遇到问题，在现实生活里，我又找不到令人满意的答案时，我就总会去书本中里去寻觅。
And this kind of love thinking reminds me of one of my favorite novels---GONE WITH THE WIND ---one which can touch me and stir something inside me every time I read it.
那天，对爱的思考让我想起了最喜欢的一本小说《飘》。每次读它，鼓舞感染之余，内心都会被深深触动。
Of course, about this world classic,from different perspectives, different things can be said and analyzed, I,however, have decided to elaborate only according to my understanding, and that is love.
当然，对这本世界名著，从不同的角度切入，读者都可以得到不同的东西。我只想就“爱”这一主题，来展开我的分析。
What is love?
爱是什么？
Answer varies from person to person, and nobody,psychologists or sociologists alike, can give an accurate definition.
不同的人，会有不同的答案。但从哲学家到社会学家，却没人能够给出一个精确的定义。
And they, actually, have made such attempts but the result, you see, turns out to be in vain and just not that satisfactory.
事实上，他们确实也做过一些尝试，但结果却都徒劳无功，得出的答案也往往差强人意。
So , here, I am not planning to make any definition, quite on the contrary, I want to deconstruct a traditional understanding of love.
因此，在这里我不打算如下任何定义，恰恰相反。我想要去拆析传统意义上对爱的理解。
Maybe, I just say maybe, love is only a figment in our imagination. This is what I conclude after reading this novel.
或许，爱仅仅源于我们的想象。
这就是我读完《飘》后的最大感悟。
From the very beginning, we know Scarlett has a childish crush with Ashley and for her whole life Ashley is her dream and has uphold her through so many dark years.
我们知道，从最一开始，女主人公斯嘉丽对男主人公阿希礼就怀抱着近乎天真的爱恋，终其一生，阿希礼就是她的梦，是支撑她熬过黑暗岁月的光。
Yes, in her life, there is always Ashley, desolate, heart-broken, ready to scream at fate as she often is, always, there is still Ashley.
没错，在她的生命里，处处都是阿希礼。她绝望，她心碎，她大声呐喊命运对的不公，让他们不能在一起。
可是，纵然彼此都有了家庭，斯嘉丽的生命里，到处还是阿希礼。
This kind of love towards Ashley has made her turn her back against many men, even Rhett who does love her heart and soul; this kind of love blinds her very eyes and she just lives in her imaginary love for so many years。
对阿希礼的这种爱，让她拒绝了生命中的很多男人，甚至包括全心全意爱她的瑞特。这种爱障了目蒙了心，致使很多年来她一直生活在自己虚构出来的一种爱情里。
Until one day---the day at Melly’ death when Ashley chose to run away from his wife and avoid to face the cruel fact---she woke up suddenly and saddened by an acute dullness and clear realization that she Scarlet never loves Ashley before, and he just never really existed at all, except in her imagination.
这种幻觉一直持续到梅兰妮去世的那一天——那一天，阿希礼脆弱到从他的妻子身边逃开，他不敢面对妻子已经离开这一残酷的事实。也就是在那一天，斯嘉丽突然清醒过来，内心被一种尖锐的迷茫刺痛，她清楚地意识到，她斯嘉丽从来没有真正爱过阿希礼，那个阿希礼压根儿就不存在，他不过是自己想象出来的而已。
At this, she cried and at that very moment she needed Rhett, needed him so desperately that she just hoped to have wings to fly to his broad bosom that she had neglected for so long.
意识到这一点，斯嘉丽哭了起来，那一刻，她无比需要瑞特，她恨不能长上翅膀，立马躲到瑞特宽大结实的胸脯中去，而对此，她一直以来是有多么视而不见呵。
That day she realized that she only loves something she made up, something that is just as dead as Melly is.
也就是那一天，她意识到这么多年来，她只不过是爱着某个自己虚构的东西，那个东西正如梅兰妮一样，死去了。
She made a pretty suit of clothes and fell in love with it.And when Ashley came riding along , so handsome ,so different, she put that suit on him and made him wear it whether it fitted him or not. And she wouldn’t see what he really was. She kept on loving the pretty clothes—and not him at all.
她自己缝制了一套美丽的衣服，并且爱上了他。后来阿希礼骑着马跑过来，他显得那样帅气，那么与众不同，她便把那套衣服给他穿上了，也不管他穿了是否合适。她也不想看清楚他究竟怎么样，她一直爱着的不过是自己缝制的那套衣服而已，而根本不是阿希礼这个人。
She just loved her own imaginary Ashley for so long until she found out at Melly’ death how week and coward he was, and her life-long dream was shattered into fragments.
这么长时间以来，她不过是爱着自己想象中的阿希礼而已，直到梅兰妮死的时候，她才发现，她所爱的阿希礼原来是是那么脆弱，那么懦弱，她对阿希礼的那个美好的梦想，彻底粉碎了。
She looked back down the long years and saw herself in green flowered dimity, standing in the sunshine at Tara, thrilled by the young horseman with his blond hair shining like a silver helmet.
现在，她可追忆到许多年前，看见她自己穿一件绿底白花细布衣裳站在塔拉的阳光下，被那位骑在马上的金光闪闪的青年吸引住了。
She could see so clearly now that he was only a childish fancy , no more important really than her spoiled desire for the earbobs she had coaxed out of her papa.
For , once she owned the earbobs, they had lost their value, as everything except money lost its value once it was hers. And he, too, would have become cheap if, in those first far-away days, she had ever had the satisfaction of refusing to marry him.
如今，她已经清楚地看出，他只不过是她自己的一个幼稚的幻影而已，并不比她从爸爸手里哄到的那副海蓝宝石耳坠更为重要。
那副耳坠，她也曾热烈地向往过，可是一旦得到，它们就没什么值得可贵的了，就像除了金钱以外的任何东西那样，一到她手里就失掉了价值。艾希礼也是这样，假使她在那些遥远的日子最初就拒绝跟他结婚而满足了自己的虚荣心，他也早就不会有什么价值了。
If she had ever had him at her mercy, seen him grown passionate,jealous, sulky, pleading ,like the other boys, the wild love which had possessed her would have passed, blowing away as lightly as mist before sunshine when she met a new man.
假如她曾经支配过他，看见过他也像别的男孩子那样从热烈、焦急发展到嫉妒、愠怒、乞求，那么，当她遇到一个新的男人时，她那一度狂热的迷恋也就会消失，就好比一片迷雾在太阳出现和轻风吹来时很快飘散一样。
At this sudden realization, Scarlet needed Rhett, one who for so many years had loved her as much as a man could love a woman but she Scarlet had ignored so cruelly. But now, she really needed him,desiring to nestle besides him whispering her love to him.
突然意识到这一切，斯嘉丽无比需要瑞特，那个倾注了全身力气去爱自己的瑞特，那个被她斯嘉丽残忍忽视的瑞特。但是，那一刻，她真的需要他，希望偎依在他的怀里，诉说自己的衷肠心语。
她爱他。
So, she run home quickly, actually so quickly that it brought tears to my eyes when I was reading this part because as reader I know what is waiting for her. After so long a time, after so much hurt and negligence, Rhett’s love wore out and he had decided to leave Scarlet and he meant it.
因此，她飞快地朝家跑去，速度如此之快，以至于当我读到这一部分的时候，已是泪流满面，因为读过这部小说的读者朋友应该知道，等待斯嘉丽的是什么。
那时候，在漫长的等待之后，另一男主人公瑞特对斯嘉丽的爱已经枯竭了，他正式决定离开斯嘉丽，与斯嘉丽离婚。
他，去意已决。
Rhett was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together and tell himself that them ended whole was just as good as new, and what is broken is broken.
瑞特从来不是那样的人，他不可能耐心地拾起一片碎片，把它们凑合在一起，然后对自己说，这个修补好了的东西跟新的完全一样。
一样东西，破碎了就是破碎了。
他宁愿记住它最好时的模样，而不想把它修补好。然后，终生看着那些碎了的地方。
I have to say I cry over and over again at this, at the fact that a love a tough guy just like Rhett has should end on earth!
我得承认，读到这些句子的时候，我一次又一次地掉眼泪。
我之所以会难过，是因为瑞特爱斯嘉丽，是以一个男人能够爱一个女人最高的程度在爱着她，而如今，那份爱，竟也结束了。
They say the minute love is spoken out ,expressed and realized, one is doomed to lose it forever for the very paradoxical and contradictory fact that love only exists in human’s imagination.
有人说，爱一经说出口，一旦得到，也就注定着永远失去，只源于那看似自相矛盾的事实——爱仅仅只存在于人们的想象之中
You think you love someone so much that you can even sacrifice everything only to be together with him but when you really get him, sadly ,you have to face the hard truth that the once passionate and crazy love you hold for him fades during the time-and-effort-consuming chase and pursuit.
你认为你爱某个人，你甚至愿意牺牲一切去争取和他在一起，但是一旦你得到了他，你却又不得不面对这个棱角分明、硌得人生疼的真理，随着神秘面纱的揭开，随着激情的消退，你对他所怀抱的那份爱，在长久的追逐中已经慢慢暗淡，而后很快便又消磨在了日常的鸡毛琐碎里。
It is so sad that it is our human nature that we always give no attention to the things we already have, instead, we spend almost all of our time imagining, desiring ,purchasing something that is far out of our reach. And what is more fortunate is once we get it , we will throw it away just immediately—this is especially true when it comes to love.
想来，已是忧伤，我们总是去关注自己没有拥有的东西，却对已经拥有的东西熟视无睹，我们费尽心思，花光时间去幻想，去追逐那些远在天边、虚无缥缈的东西。
更为悲伤的是，一旦筋疲力尽得到了我们渴望已久的，那些东西却又很快对我们失去了吸引力，在爱情里，尤为如此。
Love is something we imagine in our imagination—we make our imaginary lover in our mind and put a pretty clothes on him—and then start to chase after him until we really get him. On this journey we ignore those who really care us and love us and only are so obsessed with our stubborn love that we even forget to stop to see clearly what we are purchasing really is.
爱情，好像就存在于我们的想象里——我们事先在我们的大脑里描绘出了一位虚拟的爱人，然后将一件美丽的衣裳披在那个人身上，然后开始追逐，直到我们真正得到了他，才肯罢休。在这个追逐的过程中，我们如此固执于大脑中虚构的那个幻影，而忽视了很多真正在乎我们、关心我们的人。
我们甚至不愿以停下来，仔细去看清楚，我们迷恋的那个人你究竟是谁。
Years later, regretfully, it occurs to us that we have deceived ourselves using our own imagination. Maybe, beauty, as a good many persons put,only exists within a certain distance, so does love.
光阴辗转，岁月流逝，有一天，我们突然意识到，这么些年来，我们只不过是用我们的想象在自欺欺人罢了。
人们常说，距离产生美，那或许，爱情也是如此吧。
The scene Scarlett run home, her love for Rhett with her and after so many years she suddenly realized that it Rhett that she Scarlett really loved touches a raw nerve and tears roll down from my cheeks.
斯嘉丽飞奔回家，很多年过去了，她终于突然意识到了对瑞特的爱，这些场景，触痛了我的内心最柔软的部分，泪水不自觉便往下滑落。
On that chilly autumn day, strolling along a street carpeted by Ginkgo leaves , stroked and stifled by a sudden desolation ,I began to think about what is love. Parhaps, just as is illustrated in GONE WITH THE WIND, love is only a figment in our imagination, but still, still I cherish a sincere hope that one day I will encounter my soul-mate.
在那个寒冷的秋日，我沿着落满银杏树的大街，漫无目的地走着，无尽的凄凉突然来袭，我便开始思考起其爱情来。
或许，正如《飘》里所言，爱情，不过源于我们的想象而已，但我依然，依然愿意怀抱白雪般纯净的希望，有一天，我们终将遇到那个灵魂的伴侣。
你笑，他懂，你哭，他在。
如此，已是足够。