6月5日雅思大作文示范写作 | 家庭影响 or 外界影响更大？
本期作者：朱玲娇
2021年6月5雅思大作文题目
A family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Behind children’s upbringing usually lie sundry factors, of which, from my perspective, the external impacts rather than parental ones make a larger difference.
【解析】
教育类老题重现，探讨教育者谁的影响更大。开头开门见山。
※ upbringing n. 教养，培养
Concession + Refutation
As an inseparable part in children’s life, the family does play a crucial role in their growth. This is mainly because children, especially when they are at an early age, are usually accompanied by their parents, whose personal examples and didactic manners will impact kids’ conduct. In other words, such is the instinct that young kids are inclined to imitate what their parents do, which naturally follows that children, to some extent, seem to be the miniatures to mirror what kinds of people their parents are.// However, does the family have the greatest influence? The answer may be “no”. Such impacts decay as children grow older, since they are less likely to be parasitic on the family as they used to be.
【解析】
让步：家庭的影响诚然对孩子也有比较大的影响，毕竟言传身教，但是这种影响会随着孩子年龄增长而逐渐削弱。
※ didactic adj. 爱说教的
※ miniature n. 缩影
※ mirror vt. 反映，反射
※ decay vi. （力量、影响等）衰退，减少
※ be parasitic on 寄生于
Argument
As a matter of fact, information derived from the outside world matters more. <总分展开> For starters, compared with parents, who themselves may not be well-educated, authoritative teachers tend to exert more influences on children’s nurturing, whether academically or morally. To illustrate, in class, knowledgeable teachers assume their inescapable responsibilities by imparting certain knowledge and skills into children’s mind; after class, it is teachers that figure out and correct students’ disciplinary problems when observing how children interact with their classmates.// Besides, with the cutting-edge technologies progressing, children are bombarded with mountains of information through digital gadgets on hand, which gradually facilitates them to foster their own values, with guardians who are often wrapped up in their work being less influential.
【解析】
细化外界因素，对比论证家长的影响如何减少：1.学校教育：老师无论在学术上还是道德上，都对孩子有影响，且相比较自己没有受过良好教育的家长更具权威性；2. 科技发展，孩子的信息渠道增多，而家长忙于工作，无法一直严格监管。
※ be wrapped up in sth. 把全部精力放在某事上（以至于没有时间关心其他事）
Conclusion
In light of the above, it is crystal-clear that the impacts from the family are overshadowed when set against those from outside the home.
【解析】
重申观点
END
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