When I was 15 years ...

When I was 15 years old, I had a spinal stroke.

Symptoms of numbness and tingling appeared a day before the onset of the stroke.

As a multi-sport athlete, I figured I had pinched a nerve or pulled a muscle in my back.

The following day, though, the symptoms progressed into full-blown paralysis from my shoulders down.

While lying on my back for the first couple of weeks, I had plenty of time to think about the implications of my injury.

One of my biggest worries was that girls wouldn’t find me attractive because I was paralyzed or used a wheelchair.

For several years, I believed this harmful idea to be true.

Events, like a girl asking if I would be able to stand and dance with her before she agreed to go to homecoming with me, only reinforced it.

With time, my self-confidence had evaporated.

I didn’t view myself as sexy or attractive. I wasn't sure why anyone would want to date me.

At my rock bottom last summer, I found Caroline, my girlfriend of a year and a half.

I was incredibly insecure at the time, but she was into me and fell in love with me and my insecurities.

For instance, she loves riding on my electric mobility scooter with me (see picture below).

She loves my atrophied hands, stating that they are perfect for back rubs.

She loves helping me up when I literally fall down.

When I was first injured, I was plagued with ableist thoughts and ideas.

I figured I was less attractive and worthy of a partner because of my disability. I feared I wouldn’t find love.

I wish I could go back and tell that 15 year old that disability doesn’t make you less attractive or worthy of love.

To find love and build a relationship, you don’t have to be able-bodied.

But, you do need to love your partner, be committed, and find a way to love yourself.

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