我们还在游戏里吗 Are we still in the game?

截图源自我的亚马逊页面

Screenshot from my Amazon Prime Page

Are we still in the game?

我们还在游戏里吗？

The film eXistenZ came to me on my 29th birthday, as a fun creepy surprise. This film is released in 1999, in other words, already made before 1999. And you can see designs we would still WOW.

I do not want to spoil the film but need to say this film is brilliant in closing the loop but leave viewers an open end (or maybe not the end) for interpretation. You do not have to agree with the director or the actors, the best part of this film (and in all fine art) would be allowing readers to think, rather than having the same conclusion.

To me, this is a thought-provoking film as you will start to challenge the reality for being real life or just a game. To someone who have watched films like Matrix (1999) , Inception (2010) , Ready Player One (2018), this sounds not very innovative, but keep in mind of the year. This is what I prefer but no one needs to think like this. When I choose to watch a film, no need to compare films for being more creative or not, as long as it inspires me to think. When a film can take me up to a different view, open my eyes, either appreciate it or just realise there is another possibility, the film has done its work.

The more films I watch, like the more artwork I see, I give up comparing. I was comparing, measuring before, but now I just want to immerse in when I choose to watch one film, or choose to stand in front of a painting. Why do I have to judge? to rate? Can I just soak, enjoy and chill?

It is okay to have your most impressive piece of work in a room and have the top films in your watching list. But this does not mean the others’ existence shall be underrated. This attitude also applies in my life. I tend not to say who is the best, what is the most excellent, I give my subjective specific real feelings and thoughts. In other words, I am articulating what is good, what is excellent.

29周岁的生日夜我看了一部电影，有些恶趣味的惊喜感。1999年上映的这部电影，也就是说在1999年前就已经有人这么想了。里面的一些设计今天也依然可以觉得惊叹。

我不希望剧透但需要说这部电影在完成度上非常精彩，还能留给观众一个开放式的结尾（或许也不是结尾）来解读。你会觉得自己不需要同意导演或演员，这部电影（以及所有好的艺术）都会允许读者去思考，而不是要得出一致的结论。

对我来说，这是一部激发思考的电影，因为你会开始挑战自己所生活的是现实生活还是游戏而已。对于已经看过黑客帝国、盗梦空间、头号玩家的观影者来说，这也不是什么新鲜事儿，但看看上映的年份。当我选择看一部电影的时候，就不觉得需要去比较电影是否足够创新，只要它能激发我的思考。当电影可以带我领略另一个视角，开阔我的事业，无论是喜欢还是只是意识到还可以有这样的可能性，这部电影在我这里就是已经完成了。

当我看越来越多的电影，就像我欣赏越来越多的艺术作品，我放弃了比较。我曾经也比较、衡量，但现在我就希望在我做出选择看一部电影或一幅画作之后，能够沉浸其中。我为什么要去做判断？去评分？我就不能浸入、享受、放松悠哉做自己吗？

当然可以有在一个陈列室里印象最深刻的作品，也可以有一直是心头好的电影。但这并不意味着其他的文艺作品就要被踩。我这种态度在生活中也是，我不倾向于去说谁最好，什么最棒，而是会给出我主观、具体的真实感受与思考。也就是说，我要具体说哪里好、哪里棒。

One of my friend asked me about a question after reading my life stories:

So you think comparison don’t have to exist?

My answer was:

I feel when I am doing my research and treating my friends, there is no need to compare human.

She said that she often would 'compare’ her with her friends. When she wanted to rush, she would try to think if my friend xxx is at this position, what would they do? By doing so, she get some new breakthroughs and also find meaning in this.

To me, that’s called taking into others’ shoes, or in short, empathy. I do similar role-play when facing difficulties, I would imagine how my teachers, my friends, even my icons, would choose to act. Then I can come up with ways that I do not feel like compromising myself too much but more considerate and thorough. We both think that is the significance of having friends.

I would say that's also why I watch films, go to art galleries and read books. They all enable you to see different views in different ways. All of these ways are equally important but happen in different contexts. You are not asked to be like your friends, but at some moments, the way they deal with things, if you think that is maturer or more decent, you get inspirations from them when you can (first you need to observe and take note).

我的一个朋友最近看完我的人生故事之后问我了一个问题：

你觉得比较是没必要存在的吗？

我的回答是：

我是觉得在我做的研究和对待朋友时没有必要对人做比较

朋友说她常常会把自己和朋友比较，在做事的时候，想冲动的时候，就会想一想如果我是我的某个朋友会怎么做。这样帮助她有了一些新的突破，也让她觉得很有意思。

对我来说，朋友说的这种比较是穿上别人的鞋想想，简短说来，共情能力。我也会去想如果是我的老师、是我的朋友，或者我眼中的标杆人物处理某些困境时会怎么做，然后再想想是不是存在更全面周到的做法又不用特别委屈自己。我们都觉得这就是朋友带来的重大意义。

我还会说这样是为什么我看电影、看艺术展、读书。所有这些都让我以不同的方式去看见不同的视角。这些方式对我来说都一样重要，只是发生在不同的情境之中。就像你没有必要也成为你朋友那样的翻版，但在有些时候，他们做人做事的闪光点，你看见了，记下了，日后有机会，会选择见贤思齐。

Similar logic applies to the film and art in my life. Definitely there is a taste difference. But I am not going to look down on some films just because I personally do not enjoy or find it thought-provoking. People watch films for different reasons. It is just I need thought-provoking with imagination, and depth. This time I do not elaborate everything, let this article focus on comparison.

The comparison I am talking about is saying when I have a choice, I will not to measure and compare human beings, nor will I look down different forms of literature and art. But I do have some personal preferences and appreciate beauty and good qualities. So there are people I like, art I like, and people and art I just cannot get closer. Just, my choice does not need to be judging and drawing conclusions, let's leave some space for interpretation.

I do not want to be measured by other people's standards, limited by data or past, so I will not do that to others. Other viewer of this film may see slightly different from me, they may doubt the reality is not worthy of attention as we cannot tell the difference between game and real life. Or they may see present, arguably, can be non-existent as people take time to feel, so only the past and the future, the past may limit and even decide your freedom in the future.

I can’t agree with this as I am a believer and practicing my human agency for free choice. Suggesting the past and the future has a 'causal’ relationship is limiting the free will we have as humans, brainwashing you to give up your self-consciousness, simplifying the fact that we are living in different contexts with both spatial and temporal dimensions.

相似的逻辑在我的生活中也出现在电影和艺术之中。这里面绝对是存在品味的差异。但我不会因为我个人不喜欢或者觉得没啥激发思想火花的就觉得有些电影要被踩低。人看电影的原因不同。对我来说是需要激发思想的火光，要有想象力和深度。但这篇我就不展开了，这篇推送聚焦于比较。

我在这里说的“比较”，是说当我有一个选择的时候，我选择不去衡量、比较人，也不会去看低不同形式的文学艺术作品。但我确实有个人喜好，也会欣赏我眼中的美好和优良品质。所以我确实有自己喜欢的人，喜欢的艺术，也有我觉得不想靠近的人和艺术。只是，我的选择没有必要是像法官那样的审判，也不需要得出什么结论，留一点空间给解读吧。

我自己不希望被人指指点点评头论足，也不希望被数据和过去限定住，所以我不会这样去对其他人。其他看电影的人可能会和我有不同的看法，或许会认为怀疑现实不值得过因为我们都没办法区分游戏和现实生活。或许也有人看了会觉得现在，可以是根本不存在的，因为人需要时间才能够感受到，所以只存在过去和现在，过去可以限制甚至决定你未来的自由。

我无法同意是因为我深信而且也在践行着我的自主性，在做自由的选择。暗示说过去和未来是注定的因果关系，限制了我们作为人的自由意志，是在让你交出自主意识，在我看来简化了这样一个事实。那就是，我们其实生活在不同的时空情境之中。

It does sound a bit attractive to have something certain and solid to grasp, to say “ you are what you experienced, the past shape you’. But this may make you lazy in thinking, not to mention reflection, let alone walking out of your comfort zone, you would be difficult to find you are the boiling frog in the warm water.

To some extent, your experiences and your past were there. However, their effect on you can onlt take place when you give response to them, then you are the one who decide how much they are to influence you. YOU are the one who make the choice to let them affect you, no need to let the past you become your future master.

So I'd rather embrace the uncertainty, more adventourous. I make my own choice, rather than let my past decide my choice. This is not saying I do not respect history. It is important to learn from history. But as my eyes are not on the back of my head, my eyes are looking forward to my future days. My mindset is to push all-in for my future life that I want to have now. Therefore, I am not living in the memories that cannot be travelled back. I live today, for the tomorrow I would like to see. And I am the captain, so I can also adjust my route depending on my life experiences.

听起来有简单又确定的东西，比如：你就是你的经历，过去塑造了你，是有点诱人的。但这可能会让你懒惰，不去思考，更别提反思，别说走出舒适区，温水煮青蛙都难意识到。

在一定程度上，你的经历和过去客观存在，可以有影响到你却是因为你选择对这些经历做出了回应。这些事情对你有影响是因为你让他们对你有影响了，是你的选择让这些事情对你影响有深有浅。你才是那个作出决定让过去影响你的人，没有必要让过去的你成为你未来人生的主人。

所以我更愿意拥抱不确定性，更冒险一点。我做出自己的选择，而不是让过去来决定我的选择。这不是说我不尊重历史。以史为鉴是重要的。但我的眼睛是长在前面不是后脑勺的，而且是当下我对未来的想象，创造未来，不是过去的我可以预见未来。所以我不活在回不去的回忆里，活在当下，为的是创造我想要的未来，还可以随着不同的人生际遇不断微调。

There is one experiment about twins I remember till today in the postitve psychology course by Tal Ben-Shahar. The researchers studied twin brothers who lived in disadvantaged situations. Their father was addicted to alcohol, abuse them when they were young. They both hated their father, and said they do not want to be like that. At their 30s, the researcher visit them again, one brother is the version of his father, drinking too much and having domestic violence, and the other brother has a nice family, living a healthy life. The researcher asked why, and they started with the same lines: you know, my father was like that. One said, so I ended up like this. The other ended with, so I cannot be like that.

The film I watched yesterday has talked about the realities you want, and also make me reflect about the violence and communication. What I feel missing in this film is that they never sit down and have deep talk and reflect what they have experienced. Thankfully this is only film, if we live in a life that let violence and power be dominant, what a horrible world we are having?

In my life, the more I reflect, the more I am embracing the kid living in my mind: appreciating “The Starry Sky Above Me and the Moral Law Within Me” (by Kant). I can choose to not play the horrible game, or not be the horrible gamer. I can play my own rules in my own game, i.e. creating my life by being the designer and player. And meeting more friends, is like finding compatibility in different games. I will have patience and time to learn their rules too.

So either my game or my real life, or my real life is actually virtual reality, does not matter, I do not care, what I care is that shall be based on this starry sky and moral law, that’s what matters for me. Maybe some designer put this thinking pattern in my mind, well, I accept that, and feel grateful to live in this way and perceive this as my free will.

I have taken up my ownership, what about you?

在Tal Ben-Shahar的积极心理学课程里有一个我至今都记得的实验。研究者研究弱势儿童，有一对双胞胎从小家里的爸爸就酗酒家暴。他们小时候都不喜欢自己的爸爸，说长大后不要成为爸爸这样。等到30多岁的时候，研究者再去走访，其中一个兄弟成为爸爸的翻版，酗酒家暴，另一个则家庭美满幸福，饮食生活都很健康。研究者问为什么，他们给出了一样的开场：你也知道，我爸是什么样。一个说，所以我也成了他这样。另一个说，所以我不能成为他那样。

我昨晚看的这部电影说的其实就有你想要什么样的现实，但也会让我反思其中充盈着的暴力与沟通的缺失。我感到这部电影里面从来没有坐下来好好谈谈，反思一下自己的经历。幸好这只是一部电影，如果我们生活在这样任由暴力和权力主导的生活之中，这个世界该是多么恐怖片？

在我的人生中，越多反思，越会拥抱我的赤子之心，欣赏“头顶的浩瀚星空和内心的道德律法”（出自康德）。我能选择不玩可怕的游戏，也不做可怕的玩家。我在我的人生里按照我的规则玩我自己的游戏，自己是设计师、自己是玩家，自己创造自己的人生啊。而遇见更多朋友，就像是不同游戏寻找兼容性的过程哈哈～我也会有耐心和时间去学习他们的规则。

所以无论是身处游戏还是我的真实生活，或许我的真实生活就实际上是虚拟现实，不重要，我不在意，我在意和看重的是头顶的星空与内心的道德律。或许这是某个设计师给我安排了这样的人设，行呗！那我就接受，并且感恩至少给我安排了这样的设定，让我觉得我有自由意志。

我掌握了自己对人生的所有权，你呢？