3分钟学会一个雅思7分句系列(四十九)
听说每个高分烤鸭都星标了新航道3分钟学雅思
3分钟学会一个雅思7分句系列 | | 栏目推送说明
3分钟学会一个雅思7分句系列。成功就是日复一日那一点点小小努力的积累。
应对
Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as a school subject but others argue that it would be a waste of valuable school time.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
这个题目
学生在开头段落的第一句写了下面这句话:
Some people consider it necessary to make learning global news as a senior high school subject, while their opponents regard it as a waste of school time.
我们来看教师修改后的句子,如下:
Learning global news may be a worthwhile subject at secondary school; it may also be a waste of time.
▲ 首先,是句子的简化。抛弃陈词滥调的无聊的some people … their opponent … 而更直接的说出了内容。
▲ 原句中的consider it necessary to make learning global news as a senior high school subject和 regard it as a waste of school time都是繁琐的方式。改动后,be a worthwhile subject at secondary school和be a waste of time中用了be动词,在措辞上简化,让句子读起来更顺畅。这里特别注意这里用的是情态动词may,这样,“may be”就避免了去主观认定一种情况为事实,而是语气缓和地说了一种可能。
▲ 分号“;”替代了while,比起用while来联系两个分句,分号使得两个分句形更工整的结构。这里并不是对于错误的纠正,因为while的用法无误。这里只是故意用到特殊的标点符号来追求这个句子的节奏上的风格。
★ 小总结 ★
好句子一定是在形式上最求最简的形式,避免措辞上不必要的部分(长句子一定不是刻意追求形式上的长,而是出于内容的需要而长)。