每日原则:接受结果
大部分时候,生活让你做出许多决定,给予你许多从错误中改过的机会,所以只要你处理得好,就能拥有美好的生活。当然,有时候某些我们无法控制的因素会严重影响我们的生活质量,例如人们生下来所处的环境、意外与疾病等。但大多数时候,只要以正确的方式应对,最差的情况也能被扭转。举个例子,我的一个朋友在跳进泳池时撞到了头,导致四肢瘫痪。但他却以很好的方式去面对自身的处境,变得和其他人一样快乐,这是因为快乐是可以通过多种途径实现的。
我的观点很简单:不管在生活中遇到什么情况,如果你能负起责任,进行良好的决策,而不是抱怨你无法控制的东西,你将更有可能取得成功并找到幸福。心理学家称之为拥有“内控点”,多项研究一致表明,拥有“内控点”的人比其他人表现更优秀。
所以,不要担心你是否喜欢当前的处境。生活根本不关心你喜欢什么。你需要根据自己的目标找到实现目标的方法,然后鼓起勇气坚持下去。
For the most part, life gives you so many decisions to make and so many opportunities to recover from your mistakes that, if you handle them well, you can have a terrific life. Of course, sometimes there are major influences on the quality of our lives that come from things beyond our control—the circumstances we are born into, accidents and illnesses, and so forth—but for the most part even the worst circumstances can be made better with the right approach. For example, a friend of mine dove into a swimming pool, hit his head, and became a quadriplegic. But he approached his situation well and became as happy as anybody else, because there are many paths to happiness.
My point is simply this: Whatever circumstances life brings you, you will be more likely to succeed and find happiness if you take responsibility for making your decisions well instead of complaining about things being beyond your control. Psychologists call this having an “internal locus of control,” and studies consistently show that people who have it outperform those who don’t.
So don’t worry about whether you like your situation or not. Life doesn’t give a damn about what you like. It’s up to you to connect what you want with what you need to do to get it and then find the courage to carry it through.