It can be so hard to forgive because so often we simply are in the right. And the scale of the folly, thoughtlessness, and meanness of others seems utterly beyond our own measure.
原谅别人绝非易事，因为往往是我们自己占理，而且有些人的愚钝、轻率和刻意程度真的让人无法忍受。
But there are two inviolable ideas, which should nevertheless, in the face of the grossest behaviors, be kept in mind to increase our chances of being able to forgive.不过，即便面对最烦人的行为，如果将以下两点熟稔于心，我们会更懂得如何宽恕别人。Firstly, we must remember how the other person got there to this place of idiocy and cruelty.Every irritating fault in another person has a long history behind it. They've become like this because of flaws in their development, which they did not choose for themselves.别人身上那些让人恼怒的错误都大有来头。成长过程中的缺陷导致他们如此，可能他们自己也别无选择。They were shaped by troubles, troubles which we cannot see, but which we know must exist. The arrogant person was trapped at some key point in their personal evolution in an environment where being modest and reasonable seemed to guarantee they'd be trampled on.各种困扰塑造了一个人的人格，我们虽然看不到这些困扰，但它们是一定存在的。比如，自傲的人可能在成长的某个关键阶段，生活在一种保持谦虚理智就会遭人排挤的环境；The hypercritical individual has lived too much as their personality was growing, around people who couldn't take a gentle hint. So, they came to rely on blunt assertions.苛求的人，可能在成长过程中遇到的人都听不懂善意的暗示，所以干脆口无遮拦，说话直截了当；The frustratingly timid, mousy person was at some stage terrified.The show-off learned their irritating manner around people who were hard to please.Behind every failing, behind everything that's wrong and infuriating about those we meet is a decisive trauma encountered before someone could cope with it properly.种种我们眼中不可理喻的行为背后，是某一个人久久无法抚平的创伤。They are maddening, but they got to be this way without meaning to.To forgive is to understand the origins of evil and cruelty.原谅别人，实质上是去理解那些导致对方恶意与无情的源头。Secondly, and very strangely, there are difficult things about you, too. Of course, not in this area, not in any area remotely connected to the sort of lapses that tend to destroy your faith in humanity.第二，奇怪的是，其实你自己也有让别人不快的一面。当然，这一面并不会是那些出现在别人身上的、让人不可理喻三观崩塌的方面。Gently, you have in your own way betrayed. Nicely, you have been a coward. Modestly, you have forgotten your privileges. Unthinkingly, you have added salt to the wounds of others. We don't need to know anything about you to know this as a certainty.做派温和点，觉得辜负了自己；善解人意一点，别人说你太怯弱；谦虚点的话又没了架子；没三思而后行，别人又说你往他伤口上撒盐。我们甚至不必对你了解过多，就知道以上所述皆为事实。We must forgive because not right now, not over this, but one day over something, we will need to be forgiven.我们必须宽恕他人，不是此时此刻，而是在未来的某时某刻，因为我们也有需要别人原谅自己的时候。Click here for audio and translation of the story
