时间是如何改变了他
我们翻译这篇文章的理由
——糖消
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时间是如何改变了他
作者：Lydia Davis
译者：糖消
校对：宋一
策划：一丹 & 胖胖
HE USED TO PLAY the violin, but then, as his fingers thickened and lost some of their agility, he became frustrated by trying to play, and then bored by it. He put the violin away in its case for good, had the case removed to a storeroom, and, instead, invited others in to play for him and his family in the evenings. In time, this playing by others, too, wearied him with its incessant sound and he no longer invited musicians into his home or willingly listened to any music, except, perhaps, at long intervals, from a distance, a patriotic march.
从前他拉小提琴，但随着手指日渐肥厚，不再灵敏，他便因为不能弹琴而变得沮丧，慢慢也就失了兴趣。他把小提琴放在盒子里，搬到储藏室里去，晚上请别人为他和他的家人演奏。这种由他人演奏而发出的小提琴声也渐渐令他感到倦怠，那声音连续不断，他再也不请人来家里演奏，也不愿再听任何音乐。哦，或许除了远远地、偶尔地听听国歌什么的。
He USED TO PROVIDE what was needed in the way of food, equipment, and guides for parties of men to go off exploring. They would bring him not only reports of what they had seen but also handsome artifacts, such as feathered tribal headdresses and small handmade axes and other tools. These he would display in his roomy front hall, and visitors waiting for a private audience would pass the time studying the artifacts and learning about the indigenous tribes of the country. He had had exactly this in mind, to educate the public, when he directed that the artifacts be displayed thus on the walls and in cabinets. But then he tired of the artifacts and lost interest in what they signaled of other cultures, and no longer cared about educating the public. He had everything in the front hall taken off the walls and out of the house and sold to a museum. The bare walls, a relief to his eyes, were then to be painted gold. He no longer sent parties of men out to explore the wilderness, for he no longer had any interest in other landscapes or the wild-life or primitive peoples that inhabited them. Geography now confused him.
从前他会准备食物、指南和设施等等，来鼓励参加聚会的人们进一步探索。人们带来的不止有自己看到过的各种报道，还有一些漂亮的艺术品,比如来自某部落的羽毛头饰、小巧的手工斧头和其他工具。他会把这些东西都放在宽敞的前厅展示，来访者等待会面的时候，会研究这些东西打发时间，好学到有关这个国家土著部落的知识。教育公众，这一点他心知肚明。他决定将这些东西挂在墙上、放在阁楼里的时候就知道。现在他倦了，也不再关心那些艺术品所包含的文化意义，不再关心如何教导大众。他把前厅墙上的东西都取了下来，卖给了博物馆。光秃秃的墙壁在他看来是对双眼的解放，后来又被漆成了金色。他不再把来聚会的人带去探索自然，因为他对别处风景再无兴趣，对野生动物和还过着原始生活的人们也不再关心。如今，地理问题使他困惑。
HE USED TO IMPORT and drink fine wines from France. But then he gave up drinking alcohol and put a high tariff on wines from France. If he could not enjoy the wines, he would make them more costly for others to enjoy. More generally, although he had once admired France and studied French architecture, looking for ideas for his own house, he no longer respected that country or any European country. He felt that the French, even more than other Europeans, might possibly be smarter and wiser than he was, and that feeling caused him to turn against them.
从前他会从法国进口好酒，自己也喝。但后来他戒了，还对从法国进口的酒征收很高的关税。如果他无福消受这些美酒，那么就要让别人也很难喝到，起码要让成本变高。从大的方面来说，虽然他一度很向往法国，还研究法国的建筑为自己的房子找寻灵感，但后来他不了，也不再倾慕任何一个欧洲国家。他觉得法国人在众多来自欧洲国家的人之中脱颖而出，可能比自己要聪明地多，也明智地多，这种想法令他产生了抵抗他们的想法。
HE WAS OVER SIX feet tall, and stood well above most other men. He had once been lean, and he knew that others had then said of him that he had “no excess flesh.” But in time he grew heavier and his waist thickened, and he inclined forward as he walked, with his eyes directed down.
从前他身高一米八二还多，比大部分男性都高。那时候他很瘦，他也知道别人说他“身上没有一点儿多余的肉”。不过后来他发福了，腰也粗了，走路的时候重心前倾，眼神只得落在地面。
HE USED TO RIDE his horse on the grounds of the estate and to other estates nearby, on visits to his neighbors, and he cut a handsome figure on horseback. But over the years, as he aged, and as he grew stout, it was harder for him to mount his horse, and his hands were not as strong or agile on the reins. Riding became uncomfortable, and he began to dislike his horse, as it also now disliked him. He began to avoid the company of all animals. They paid little attention to him, and he was now a man who craved attention. They required attention and care for themselves.
从前他会在自己的土地上骑马，也会去附近的土地转转，看看邻居。他给马背上画了一个炫酷的图案。但多年过去，他也老了，身体沉重，上马都很费劲，握住缰绳的双手也没那么有力和灵敏了。骑马变成了一件不舒服的事，他也开始讨厌自己的马，就像马也嫌弃他一样。他开始避免和动物待在一起。它们不再关注他，而他却极度渴望被关注。动物们更留意自己，希望被关心而不是关心他人。
ONCE, YEARS BEFORE, he had commissioned skilled copies of the best paintings by the old masters, to be hung on the walls of his parlor. Among them were portraits of his three heroes, men whose writings he had read and reread: Francis Bacon, Isaac Newton, and John Locke. But after a time he became bored by the subjects depicted in the paintings, or he told his wife, in any case, he was bored by them. Many of the paintings depicted brave men, wise men, learned men, or compassionate men; these were storied men, men of myth and fable, or men who had figured in important historic events, in addition to the great thinkers Bacon, Newton, and Locke, and he was, after looking up at them for so many years, now led inevitably to compare himself to these figures. He was now led to question his own worth as a human being when he gazed at them, and this made him uncomfortable. He had the paintings removed and replaced by poorly executed, but very large, portraits of himself.
多年前，他曾托人临摹大师的佳作，并将精巧的绘画摹本挂在会客室。此外，墙上还挂着弗朗西斯·培根、艾萨克·牛顿和约翰·洛克的画像，他把这三位视作英雄，把他们的著作读了又读。但后来，他对画中所绘主题感到厌倦，也会随时告诉妻子他的这种厌倦。除了伟大的思想家培根、牛顿和洛克，很多画作的主人公也都是勇敢之人、聪慧之人、学有所成之人或悲悯之人，他们经历丰富、色彩神秘，受人传颂，也青史留名。这么多年看着这些人，他不可避免地将自己与之相比。现在，他看着他们的时候会质疑自己作为人类的价值，这让他很不舒服。他把这些画拿下来，换上自己的画像，画工粗糙，尺寸惊人。
IN THIS SAME PARLOR, which looked out from three French windows in a large bay toward the formal garden behind the house, which he himself had designed years before, taking a formal garden of France as his model, he used to spend the evenings playing games with his children and his wife, or listening to a performance of new music on the harpsichord, or talking in French about new political ideas with a visitor from overseas. But in time he became bored by all of these activities, too often repeated. He found that they tired him excessively, and he would go off to spend the evening sitting in a smaller room by himself.
从这间会客厅的三扇法式窗向外眺，是屋后的正式花园，连着海湾。那是他多年前自己设计的，参考了法国一所花园的建造方式。从前，他有很多个夜晚都是在这间会客室度过的，和妻子孩子玩玩游戏，听听拨弦琴键流淌出的新曲子，或是和一位外国朋友用法语聊聊全新的政治见解。但现在他对这些都感到厌烦，觉得它们只是些重复性活动了。他实在是觉得太烦了，还不如把夜晚留给独自坐在小房间的自己。
HIS WIFE HAD once delighted in his company and conversation, but gradually, now, she became accustomed to his absence in the evening from the family circle. As he sat in another room, she knew he sometimes brooded. He thought that certain people looked down upon him. He would not allow her to comfort him.
他的妻子曾为有他陪伴和与他交谈开心，但渐渐地，她开始习惯晚上见不到他。他在另一个房间的时候，她知道，他有时陷在长久的自我情绪中。他觉得有些人看不起他，他不许她安慰自己。
AT ONE TIME, he had liked to acquire new knowledge, to feel his brain actively engaged with something unfamiliar and challenging, and for this reason he had bought or borrowed and read one book after another. He acquired knowledge not only through reading books but also through listening to the talk of well-informed men and having extensive conversations with these men, and sometimes from conversing also with women, women who had intelligent or sensible ideas, including his wife. But then he tired of new knowledge. Now he preferred to be confirmed in what he already knew, or believed he knew. And then, over time, so gradually that he did not notice, what he knew changed by degrees, so that it was no longer entirely true to the facts, but was in part false, now merely, in part, a mistaken belief. But since he had not perceived the change, he did not realize this.
从前，他喜欢获得新知识，喜欢感到自己的大脑活跃地处理着或陌生或困难的信息。因此，他买了或借了很多书，一本接一本地读。除了看书，他获取知识的方式还有聆听博学的人谈话，并与之深度交流。有时，他还会和聪慧的、见解独到的女性交谈，包括他的妻子。但后来他对新知感到厌烦。现在，他满足于自己的已知，或是人们认为的他的已知。后来，他的所知有程度高低的变化，于是他知道的东西不一定总是与事实相符，有时会有一些错误，甚至从根本上就是错误的。但这种变化太过缓慢，他难以察觉，也就没有认识到这点。
He had at one time spoken French fluently and took pleasure in conversing with the French. He was able, also, to read not only French but also Greek, Latin, Spanish, and Italian, and would occasionally work on improving his German. But as he read less and less, and ceased to welcome foreign visitors into his house, he began to forget these languages. And as he forgot them, he also came to feel that to be so very well educated was the privilege of only a few, not the many, and he preferred to be one of the many, or to see himself as one of the many. Or, perhaps, he preferred to be one of the few, but it was now a different few, it was the few of those who were powerful, and wealthy, not those few who were also very well educated.
他以前法语说的很流利，也很愿意用法语交流。他不仅能用法语阅读，希腊语、拉丁语、西班牙语和意大利语也不在话下。有时候他还会学学德语。但随着他读书越来越少，也不再邀请外国访客，他开始遗忘这些语言。他开始感到，接受如此良好的教育只是少数人的特权，不是大多数人的，而他希望做大多数之一，或者说把自己看作大多数之一。或许，他是愿意被归为少数的，只不过现在那是一种特殊的“少数”，这些少数的人有权有钱，但并未接受过良好的教育。
HE WAS AT TIMES, in some periods of his life, very wealthy, and spent his money freely, on rebuilding his house, and adding to his gardens, and increasing his library, and buying fine things, especially clothing, for his children and wife. But he was often, also, bankrupt, and at these times would sell some of what he owned. By the time he died he would be, once again, heavily in debt.
从前，他有段时间很富有，花钱很随意。他翻新房屋，扩建花园、图书馆，购买好看的商品给妻子和孩子，尤其是衣服。但他也常常破产，然后他就会卖掉一些东西。到他死的时候，他就又是一身债了。
HE USED TO ENJOY a wide variety of food from Europe, especially from France, cooked in many different ways and accompanied by complex sauces. But over time, he came to prefer certain familiar cuts of meat cooked always in the same way, and plain bread. In fact, he now preferred most of his food to be plain. He ate more sweet dishes, often the same ones, and drank sweet drinks with his meals.
从前，他喜欢吃欧洲的各种食物，尤其是法国的食材。他喜欢把它们用多种方法烹饪，佐以精致的酱汁。但后来他喜欢吃某几种肉，用同样的方法做，也喜欢吃最普通的面包。其实，他现在的口味就是普通的、淡淡的。他比从前吃更多的甜品——常常就那么几种，也在用餐时喝甜口的饮品。
HE USED TO HAVE one of the largest personal libraries in the country, until he found it harder and harder to read anything at all. He mixed up the letters and his eyesight began to fail. He could have worn corrective glasses, but he was a vain man and would not tolerate being seen in them, even by his family. His memory also began to fail, so that he could not keep the sentences in his head, if he tried to read. For a short time, he brought in assistants to sit with him and summarize for him what was in the books, but even this became too difficult, since he could not understand, or remember, what the young men said, even as they were saying it. They sometimes drew diagrams and pictures for him and he could understand the pictures, but many complex ideas could not be represented by pictures. He now rejected complex ideas.
从前，他拥有这个国家最大的私人图书馆，直到后来他发现阅读变得越来越困难。他认错字母，视力也开始下降。他本可以戴上矫正眼镜，但他过于在意外表，不能忍受被人看到自己要戴眼镜才能看清东西，就算是自己的家人也不行。他的记忆力也开始变差，就算勉强读了书，也记不住读过的东西。有段时间他让助手帮他总结一下书中的内容，然后告诉他，但即使是这样，阅读也是困难的，因为他无法理解、记住年轻的助手说了什么，即使是在他们说话的间隙，他也不记得对方的话语。人们有时会给他看些图表和图画——他是看得懂图片的，但更多复杂的理念是没办法用图片表达的。现在，他抗拒复杂的理念。
At last, as the books on the shelves reminded him too painfully of what he had lost, he came to resent them and had them removed. He owned, at that point, 6,700 volumes. He sold them to the government, and they formed the beginnings of the government’s own vast library. He never went to see them there, as he no longer had any interest in libraries. Once the books were gone, his own bare shelves were a relief. He did not allow a smaller collection of books to grow in the place of the large one and occupy the shelves again. He did not, in particular, acquire a copy of Don Quixote, as he had earlier wished to do. Instead, he declared that the shelves were to remain empty and had them painted gold. He had come to value gold above all else, as representing a thing of the very highest value. He had not only his shelves and the walls of his entry hall painted gold, but also the frames of his portraits.
最后，书架上的书让他无比痛苦地感受到已经失去的东西。他开始痛恨书籍，把它们全部撤了下来。那时，他已经拥有6700册书。他全部卖给了政府，这些书变成了政府大型图书馆的第一批藏书。他从来不去看它们，因为他对图书馆再也没有兴趣。书没了，光秃秃的书架对他来说是一种解脱。他不想让这个曾经放书的小小地方放上更多的书，再次占据书架。他以前很想要一本《堂吉诃德》原作的抄本，但现在他不了。他说书架要保持空空的，漆成金色。他开始特别喜欢金色，觉得金色代表着事物拥有最高价值。他不仅把书架和走廊里的墙壁都漆成金色，还把他自画像的边框也涂成了金色。
HE ONCE TOOK PLEASURE in creating his own designs, for his rooms, gardens, and furniture, and had hired fine craftsmen to execute them. After observing the architecture of France, he had added thirteen skylights to his house and a dome to surmount it, and connected two parts of the upper floor with a mezzanine, a new thing at the time. He created alcoves in the bedrooms in which to put the beds, in order to save space. In his dining room, he devised a dumbwaiter to be fitted inside one part of the fireplace, for bringing wine up from the cellar below, as he had seen once in a tavern in Europe. For his study, he designed a revolving bookstand. It could hold open, for reference, five large books at a time. When he no longer read books, he had the revolving bookstand removed to a storeroom. He could have sold it to a library, but he no longer harbored kindly feelings toward any library.
以前，他热衷于自己设计房间、花园和家具，还会雇手艺好的工匠来施工。在观察了法国的建筑后，他给自己的房子加了十三扇天窗和一个穹顶，还把顶层的两个楼面用夹层连接了起来，这在当时是一种创新。他在卧室里打造了壁龛用来放床以节省空间。他设计了一架升降机放在餐厅里，嵌在壁炉中，这样一来就能直接从酒窖里取酒，就像他在欧洲一家酒馆里看到的那样。为了学习，他还设计了一个旋转书架。它可以同时打开五本大书供他参考。不过，因为他不再看书,便把旋转书架移到储藏室。他本来可以把它卖给图书馆,但现在他对任何图书馆都没有好感了。
HE ONCE HAD EXTENSIVE gardens of vegetables and fruits and kept a detailed diary of crops, harvests, and yields. He would walk daily through the gardens and orchards, stopping to confer with the gardeners. But then he lost interest, and tired of walking. He stayed out of the gardens and chose not even to look at them from the windows of the house. At last, he had the gardens plowed under and seeded for lawns, and, if he needed to cross the lawns, rode over them in a small motorized cart, for fear of touching the grass with his shoes. He had also, in the meantime, come to believe that exercise was harmful and that any man had only a limited reserve of physical strength which could soon be spent.
从前，他有很多菜园和果园，还会详细记录播种、收获和产量的情况。他会每天到花园和果园看看，停下脚步和园艺师聊聊。但后来他没了兴趣，也不喜欢散步了。然后他让人把花园翻了土，种上了草坪，当他想穿过草坪的时候，就骑上一辆小型的机动车，他怕鞋子碰到草地。他还开始相信，锻炼对身体有害，每个人的体力是一定的，很快就会用完。
HE ONCE SAID THAT the future of the country depended on the ability of the people to make informed decisions. He continued to believe this but came to feel it was even more important for him to control the decisions they made, and so he decided also to control what information they received. Thus, he conveyed to them not only good information, but also, when he wished or needed to, false information.
他以前说，这个国家的未来在于人们是否能做出明智的选择。他现在依然相信这点，只不过觉得更重要的是，他能够掌控人们所做的选择。因此他决定，对人们接收的讯息也进行管控。于是，他不仅向人们传达好的信息，当他想或需要的时候，也传达错误的信息。
HE ONCE HAD, when he was young, ideals for the country. He had visions of what it could become, and how perfect its government and its society could be. Over time, however, he lost those ideals. They tired him. He came to embrace a different idea, one that filled him with nervous interest. He now saw the country as a vast and rich resource that could be well managed to the benefit of a certain few able men like himself.
他年轻的时候，对这个国家抱有理想。他设想过国家的未来，也认为政府和社会会很完美。但随着时间流逝，他不再想这些。它们让他感到厌烦。他开始拥抱一种全新的理念，紧张地、兴致勃勃地。如今，他把这个国家看作是一个巨大的、富裕的资源库，可以被像他那样极少数的天之骄子所利用，为他们创造价值。
HE ONCE SAID THAT what gave a man happiness was “tranquility and occupation.” But then he came to reject tranquility as having no value, and to prefer a state of agitation, and the nervous energy of sleeplessness. Whereas he had once had many occupations, he now had few. One was to watch other men more articulate than he was engage in public debate. These had to be, however, men with whom he agreed, since for him to be in disagreement agitated him more than he could bear.
他曾说给人带来幸福的是“平静和满足感”。但后来他拒绝了平静,因为觉得它毫无价值。他更喜欢一种激动的状态，还有失眠时的能量感。虽然他曾经有过许多有满足感的时刻,但现在却很少有了。其一就是看着他人在公开辩论中比他更侃侃而谈。不过,这些人一定是他所同意的人,因为对他来说,意见分歧是他无法承受的。
AS FOR HAPPINESS, at heart he was almost certainly not a happy man. He was certainly not as happy as he had once been. But because he offered false information not only to others, but also to himself, he surely would have said, if asked, that he was a happy man.
至于快乐这种东西，他打从心里认为自己不是一个开心的人。他的确没有以前开心了。但由于他不仅向别人撒谎，也向自己撒，如果你问他，他很可能会说，自己是个快乐的人。
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本文原载于 Project MUSE
原文链接：https://muse.jhu.edu/article/765305
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