能读好这首诗，您就能比世界上90%的人英文说的棒

Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité （a.k.a Charivarius）在 1920 写了一本教科书： DropYour Foreign Accent（"改掉你的外国口音"）。在这本教科书的附录里，有一首诗，因为这首诗，Gerard NolstTrenité如今蜚声英语，和所有把英语当第二外语学习的国家。这首诗把英文中最令人头疼的不规则的拼写和发音通过诗的形式集中在一起。

这首诗的不同版本在世界各国广为流传。但很长一段时间，人们并不知道这首诗的作者是谁。1945年，二战期间，一个英国士兵在一个破旧的德文版女子高中课本打字稿里发现了这首诗，随后手手相传。。。直到1986年，英语拼写协会发表这首诗时人们都不知道原作者是谁。后来，有人发现了一本1972年出版的法国人Hubert AGreven 写的书： Elements of English Phonology,（“英文语音学”），在这本书的前言里作者引用了这首诗的部分内容，并提到这首诗的作者是Mr G NolstTrenité。有趣的是，法国人不知道诗作者早已仙世，他在书里致谢诗作者时这样写道：“我不知道怎么找到您，如果您能看到我的书，我在此表达对您的感谢。”

这首诗的作者Dr. Gerard NolstTrenité是个荷兰人，生于1870年。他是一个作家，旅行家，和语言教育家。他在荷兰的University ofUtrecht学习过古典文学，法律和政治学，并取得博士学位。他曾在美国加利福尼亚州生活过，给荷兰驻美国大使的孩子们当家庭教师。回荷兰后当过18年的教师，出版过几本英文法文教科书。后来他用Charivarius为笔名给阿姆斯特丹周刊写专栏，一直到1946年他去世。

这首诗的名字叫 The Chaos(混乱无序），从最初发表的146行到现在的274行，其间历经了很多不同的版本。这首诗用押韵对句（couplets）的形式集中了英文近800个不规则的拼写，被赞为大师手笔（a virtuoso feat ofcomposition）。对母语为英语的人，这首诗揭示了英文拼写的混乱无序的一面；但是对于把英语作为外语学习的人来说，这些拼写的混乱无序恰恰也是发音的障碍，这就是为什么原诗出现在教授发音的教科书里。目前好像还没有以这首诗为基础的教授语音的教程。但是一直有这个说法：能读好这首诗，您就能比世界上90%的人英文说的好！

这里是英音版的音频。油管有美音版的。这个是一个中国人读的。

下面是全诗，引自英语拼写协会 的最全274行版本，Enjoy！

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Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse andworse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;

Tear in eye, your dress you'lltear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sewit!                   10

Just compare heart, hear andheard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it's written).

Made has not the sound of bade,
Say - said, pay - paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,
Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break,bleak,     20

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;

Woven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Branch, ranch, measles, topsails,aisles,
Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, butmining,                             30

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable - admirable from "admire",
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,

Topsham, brougham, renown, butknown,
Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.

Gertrude, German, wind and wind,
Beau, kind, kindred, queue,mankind,               40

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth,plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured
To pronounce revered and severed,

Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,
Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet,chalet.                         50

Blood and flood are not likefood,
Nor is mould like should andwould.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which exactly rhymes with khaki.

Discount, viscount, load andbroad,
Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?
Right! Your pronunciation's OK.

Rounded, wounded, grieve andsieve,
Friend and fiend, alive andlive.                 60

Is your R correct in higher?
Keats asserts it rhymes with Thalia.

Hugh, but hug, and hood, buthoot,
Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision,
Now: position and transition;

Would it tally with my rhyme
If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
But cease, crease, grease andgreasy?                   70

Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,

You'll envelop lists, I hope,
In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it!
Affidavit, David, davit.

To abjure, to perjure. Sheik
Does not sound like Czech butache.               80

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple,label.                             90

Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",

But it is not hard to tell
Why it's pall, mall, but PallMall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos,chair,
Senator, spectator,mayor,                        100

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the A of drachm and hammer.

Pussy, hussy and possess,
Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.

Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
Cow, but Cowper, some andhome.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker",
Quoth he, "than liqueur orliquor",                      110

Making, it is sad but true,
In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.

Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand andgrant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.

Gooseberry, goose, and close, butclose,
Paradise, rise, rose, anddose.                      120

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.

Mind! Meandering but mean,
Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny,
You say mani-(fold) like many,

Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or withstirring?                      130

Prison, bison, treasure trove,
Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.

Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish buffet, buffet;

Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool,boon,
Worcester, Boleyn, toimpugn.                        140

Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.

Evil, devil, mezzotint,
Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as I don't mention,

Sounds like pores, pause, pours andpaws,
Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included,
Though I often heard, as youdid,                          150

Funny rhymes to unicorn,
Yes, you know them, Vaughan andStrachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely,
I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.

No. Yet Froude compared with proud
Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,

Troll and trolley, realm andream,
Schedule, mischief, schism, andscheme.              160

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,

But you're not supposed to say
Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,

How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured,flighty,                              170

Episodes, antipodes,
Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser,
Don't peel 'taters with my razor,

Rather say in accents pure:
Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,

Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
Wan, sedan andartisan.                               180

The TH will surely trouble you
More than R, CH or W.

Say then these phonetic gems:
Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but I forget 'em -

Wait! I've got it: Anthony,
Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight - you seeit;                    190

With and forthwith, one has voice,
One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does [1].Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze andgauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry, fury, bury,

Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth,loth,
Job, Job, blossom, bosom,oath.                       200

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners

Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,

Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight,height,
Put, nut, granite, and unite

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr,heifer.                            210

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate,late,
Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific;

Tour, but our, dour, succour,four,
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
Next omit, which differs from it

Bona fide, alibi
Gyrate, dowry andawry.                                 220

Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse andclean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion,

Rally with ally; yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein,receiver.                            230

Never guess - it is not safe,
We say calves, valves, half, butRalf.

Starry, granary, canary,
Crevice, but device, and eyrie,

Face, but preface, thengrimace,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, butscourging;

Ear, but earn; and ere andtear
Do not rhyme with here butheir.                         240

Mind the O of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,

With the sound of saw and sauce;
Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.

Respite, spite, consent, resent.
Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew,Stephen,                             250

Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid, vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),

G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.

Once, but nonce, toll, doll, butroll,
Polish, Polish, poll andpoll.                           260

Pronunciation - think of Psyche! -
Is a paling, stout and spiky.

Won't it make you lose your wits
Writing groats and saying 'grits'?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington, and Isle ofWight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather,father?                                270

Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough,tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup...
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[1] No, you're wrong. This is the pluralof doe.