专项练习 | 高考英语读后续写能力提升训练:珍妮买珍珠项链的故事

高中英语预习

高中英语预习(ID:gzeg100) 是陕西省教育学会质量综合评价中心联合玖桔教育传媒集团,整合全国教育资源打造的教育融媒体平台,为学生、家长、教师提供教育资讯、教育活动和全面的教育服务。
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#原文呈现

阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。

Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl.

One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store(杂货店), Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace which was priced at $2.50. How she wanted that necklace, and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, 'Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you the necklace, and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for the necklace. And don't forget that for your birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. Okay?' Jenny agreed happily, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her.

Jenny worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her grandma gave her a brand-new dollar bill for her birthday. Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls. How Jenny loved those pearls! She wore them everywhere to kindergarten, bed and even when she went out with her mother to run errands.

The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower, because her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green!

Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story.

One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, 'Hey, sweetie, do you love me?'

'Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you,' the little girl said with a warm smile.

'Well, then, give me your pearls.'

'Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!' Jenny refused. 'But you can have Rosy, my favorite doll.

Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?'

'Oh no, darling, that's okay.'Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss. 'Good night, little one.'

注意:

1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;

2. 应使用5个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语;

3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;

4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。

Paragraph 1:

A week later, Jenny’s father once again asked Jenny the same question after her story...

Paragraph 2:

Another week later, when her father came in to read her a story as usual...

#思维路径

01

核心内容

文本主要内容为:Jenny和她妈妈经过一家杂货店的时候看见一串塑料珍珠项链,她非常喜欢,于是就要求妈妈买给她并且答应了帮妈妈做家务的方式来赚取项链钱的要求。Jenny很快就赚到了足够的钱。Jenny的爸爸非常爱她,有一天晚上,爸爸问她愿不愿意将项链送给他,但是Jenny拒绝了。

02

写作思路

(1)明确故事人物关系(characters)。故事中主要人物为小女孩Jenny,Jenny的妈妈(mother),Jenny的外婆(Grandma)和Jenny的爸爸(father,daddy)。

(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。Jenny和妈妈路过一家杂货店;Jenny看重一条塑料珍珠项链;Jenny答应妈妈买项链而提出的要求;Jenny每天做家务很快赚到了足够的钱;Jenny爸爸向她要这串项链,但是Jenny拒绝了。

(3)根据已知人物、事件及续写段落首句预测故事发展(development)。故事总体的发展应该是Jenny通过再三考虑几番抉择,最后还是把珍珠项链给了爸爸,没想到正因为如此却意外收获了一份更加珍贵的礼物。续写第一段:一周后,Jenny的爸爸再次问了Jenny相同的问题,可能是Jenny同意了将心爱的珍珠项链送给爸爸,也可能是Jenny还是不愿意将项链送给爸爸。但是根据续写第二段开头的提示,可能Jenny拒绝了爸爸这种可能性更符合逻辑一点。续写第二段:有续写第一段的内容作为铺垫,此段的发展可能是Jenny仍然不同意将项链给爸爸,也可能是她将项链送给了爸爸,若是这种可能,则还可以在此基础上描写一些爸爸的反应,如礼尚往来,给了Jenny其他的礼物作为回报等。

(4)结合下划线词罗列写作要点(points)。结合下划线词和文本内容,展开尽可能丰富的想象,罗列出尽可能多的故事发展情节。例如,第一段可以通过问以下问题来获取写作要点“What did Jenny response to father’s question? Did she give the pearls to father or just refuse again? What did the father do after Jenny’s answer?等”第二段可以问以下问题来获取写作要点:“What did the father do this time? Did he still ask the same question? Did Jenny give the pearls to her father at last? If so, what did her father do and how did he feel?等”。

#参考范文

A week later, Jenny’s father once again asked Jenny the same question after her story, 'Do you love me?' Jenny gave a definite answer to this question without hesitation. But when the conversation came to whether she could give her pearls to her father, she refused a second time.

Another week later, when her father came in to read her a story as usual, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling.' Here, Daddy,' she said, and held out her hand. Inside of her hand was her beloved plastic pearl necklace. She let it slip into her father's hand. At this time, her father pulled out of his pocket a bluevelvet box, and some real, genuine, beautiful pearls were just inside. He had had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing. Sometimes, life is just like this: give up one thing and get another chance to receive a better thing.(除给定词外,164 words)

范文解析

范文围绕文章的内容进行了合情合理的拓展。续写两个段落开头给出句子中写了两次爸爸晚上给Jenny讲故事,提示可能性最大的情景发展应该是有两次类似的针对愿不愿意给珍珠项链的交谈。因此,第一段写了爸爸再次问Jenny愿不愿意给项链,然而这次Jenny仍然不愿意给。第二段,如果再次写Jenny不愿意给的话文章主题就很难得到升华,因此这段中,我们将主动权转交到Jenny身上,Jenny主动将项链给了爸爸,并且父亲相应的给了她一条真的珍珠项链。最后一句话是根据这个小故事而得出的关于人生的一个小道理,从而在文章结尾处点出文章主题。

#提炼归纳

01

合理拓展情节

读后续写首先要读通给定文本,把握故事的人物和事件。在此基础上根据每段续写开头的提示对故事的发展作出合情合理又合乎逻辑的预测。为了将预测过程显性化,可以通过设问的方式,将预测重点以问题的方式显示出来,以利后续写作时的信息整理和语言组织。在开始写范文前,我们首先用7个问题来构思整个文章的发展。通过对这7个问题的可能回答的排列组合,挑选出最符合逻辑的情节发展。同时,为了提升整个范文的情感目标,可以使结局适当出人意料及令人深思一点。本范文在第二段时转换了与原文相反的基调,突出了小女孩在这件事情中的主动性与转变,使得范文更有层次感。

02

紧密联系原文内容

续写是在原文内容的基础上进一步对接下来发展情节的预测和描写。因此,续写的内容必须与原文紧密相关。可以在情节上承接原文,也可以用特定的细节,如人物,地点,事件等来呼应原文。如在本范文中用a second time来呼应原文中Jenny第一次拒绝爸爸的要求。

03

有效运用连接手段

在具体的写作过程中我们要对罗列的要点进行筛选和整合,还要考虑写作要点之间连接手段(connectives)的有效运用,例如范文中我们用了a week later和another week later来说明事件的时间顺序,用but来表示转折,用so来表因果关系。这些连接词的使用可以使文本更加紧凑连贯。

#写作演练一

1.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。

Sally had anxiety disorder trouble that made her fail to speak in social situations. I’m a nurse and use Bella to help children in my community, to bring them comfort and confidence the way only a dog can. I thought back to the day when I’d first brought Bella to the school.

That morning in January, her teacher led us to a room. “Sally hasn’t spoken outside her home in two years,” she told me. “Her parents have taken her to doctors, but nothing has worked. ” A little girl stood shyly just inside the doorway. Her eyes brightened when she noticed my dog.

“This is Bella.” I said. “She does tricks. Would you like to see?”

Sally nodded. I motioned with my hand. Bella lay down and then rolled over. Sally’s eyes lit up. I showed Sally the hand signals for various commands. She was a natural with Bella, maybe because she couldn’t rely on the spoken word herself. Bella sensed that and responded. Soon Sally was able to put Bella through her paces all on her own. I could see her standing taller, more sure of herself each time we met.

One morning in March when she was working with Bella, I heard a tiny voice, barely a whisper, “Good dog. ' Sally didn't take her eyes off Bella, but I wanted to jump for joy. Sally spoke a little more each week, only to Bella at first, but then to me. Later, she started giving voice commands with her hand signals and her confidence rose.

Now, five-year-old Sally stood nervously in front of her kindergarten class, with Bella, my trained dog, sitting calmly by her side. All the eyes of her classmates were focused on Sally. They were waiting for her to speak. It was June—only one week of school left—but they had never heard her voice. Not once.

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But not a word came out. Sally had been so excited about putting on a dog show for her class.

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The next week, she told me she wanted to try again, looking up at me with determination.

#范文

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But not a word came out. Sally had been so excited about putting on a dog show for her class. She had been quite familiar with the hand signals and had practiced for weeks. Now her eyes found mine. I nodded encouragingly. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth. Her mouth-then her whole body- seemed to close in on itself in defeat. Sally stood off to the side, head down. I felt awful. Sally returned to her seat, not looking at anyone, not even Bella.

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The next week, she told me she wanted to try again, looking up at me with determination. I asked whether she was sure and suggested it would be Ok if she waited till next year. She refused and insisted giving her presentation that day. Then we headed to Sally’s classroom. The kids were sitting in a circle on the floor listening to the teacher. We walked to the front of the room. I shook Sally’s hands and stepped back. For a few seconds, she stood silently, staring at her classmates. Finally she whispered, “This is Bella.” Then, a little louder with more confidence. “Bella.”

【解析】

通过阅读所给文章可知,文章主要讲了萨莉患有焦虑症,这使她在社交场合不能说话。作者是一名护士,用贝拉来帮助社区里的孩子们,给他们带来安慰和信心,只有狗才能做到这一点。在小狗贝拉的帮助下,萨莉逐渐可以在社交场合说话了。一天,在幼儿园里,大家都在等待着萨莉说话。续写部分分为两段,第一段开头是:但是,萨莉一个字也没有说出来,所以后文应该是讲述萨莉一言不发的尴尬场景。第二段开头是:第二个星期,她抬头坚定地看着我,告诉我她想再试一次。本段应该写萨莉再次尝试,成功地把自己的好朋友小狗贝拉介绍给了自己的同学们。最后还要注意所续写短文的词数应为150左右。

【范文点评】

本文描写详略得当,使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如:Sally returned to her seat, not looking at anyone, not even Bella. 现在分词作伴随状语;I asked whether she was sure and suggested it would be Ok if she waited till next year.宾语从句等高级句式。

#写作演练二

2.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。

A dawning sun shaped the massive form of the train. Loaded with fuel, water, and sand for power, the lead train weighed in at 410,000 pounds. Conductor Robert, 49, ran his eye along the 96 cars behind him.

It was 7 a.m. Robert had already checked the list of dangerous materials aboard the train. ''We've got some gas with us,'' he'd reported to his engineer, Lindley, in the cab (驾驶室). The presence of gas would mean taking extra care when braking the 6,200-ton train. With explosive gas on board, an accident would be more dangerous. After a final external inspection, Robert jumped aboard. Slowly the train pulled out of the station.

Robert and Lindley had 50 years of railroading experience between them. They approached Lafayette at about 1:45 p. m. and slowed the train to the speed limit. Lindley turned on his flashing lights and warning bell. The two had been through the city hundreds of times, but they grew extra cautious rounding the first curve (弯道). Ahead, over just three miles of track, lay no fewer than 24 street crossings. As the train came out of the curve, Lindley noticed a small dot on the right rail about 150 yards ahead. He thought it might be a dog. Now, as the train approached within 100 yards of the object on the rail, Robert looked attentively. Then shock coursed through him.

''My God!'' he yelled as a tiny face turned toward him. ''It's a baby!''

Lindley had an instant decision to make, applying full emergency brakes with half the train still wrapped around a curve. He had to risk an emergency stop. Robert opened the left door of the engine cab quickly and stepped out onto a narrow walkway. He hurried to the front of the engine and crossed to the right side. He then stepped down to the lower portion of the walkway just to the back of the train's ''cow catcher''.

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Stretching as far as he could, Robert put his right leg out in front of him.

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Telling himself he still had a job to do, Robert went back to check on the cars. 

#范文

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Stretching as far as he could, Robert put his right leg out in front of him. Swinging his leg out, he swept her aside with his foot. Robert swiftly leapt from the moving train and ran back to the child. She lay crying by the tracks, blood streaming from a wound beneath her hair. A great relief sweeping over Robert, Robert lifted her from the dirt. It was only then that Robert noticed the train had stopped and there were flashing red lights of emergency vehicles alongside the tracks. With the baby in his arms, Robert began to walk and was met by the police.

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Telling himself he still had a job to do, Robert went back to check on the cars. As Robert aboard rested in the train, his pent-up emotions rushed to the surface. It had all unfolded so fast, and the reality of what he had done was only now hitting him. Within minutes, Lindley was standing beside Robert, taking the controls again. They looked at each other, their expressions of relief and gratitude more persuasive than words. Robert’s overalls were still spotted with blood. The train pulled slowly out of Lafayette.

【解析】

这是一篇读后续写。本篇讲述了一个故事。Robert和Lindley是经验丰富且配合默契的火车驾驶员。一次他们驾驶的火车在全速前进时,Lindley注意到远处的轨道上有个黑点,他意为是一条狗,后来证实这个黑点是一个婴儿。他们要在保证火车安全的情况下,减速救下这个婴儿。

根据第一段的开头可知,Robert尽可能把自己的腿伸长,然后右腿放在前面。故可以接着写:Robert成功救出小孩,可能自己受了皮外伤,然后把孩子交给警察、孩子的家人或铁路管理人员等,情节合理就可以接受。

根据第二段的开头可知,Robert虽然内心紧张,但他告诉自己还有工作要做。故可以接着写:Robert上车平静后,可以描写他的身体感觉,内心活动,或者描述在场人员对他的赞扬,两人的对话、动作或眼神交流等,体现出他们工作之间的默契。在紧急停车之后,他们继续前行。

【范文点评】

范文内容完整,要点全面,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当,上下文意思连贯,符合逻辑关系。作者在范文中使用了一些高分句型,例如:It was only then that Robert noticed the train had stopped and there were flashing red lights of emergency vehicles alongside the tracks.使用了强调it was…that…;Lindley was standing beside Robert, taking the controls again.使用了现在分词作状语。

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