赛斯早期课(中英文附音频) 第17节 中间层面，解离，宠物（王新建 译）
第17节,中间层面,解离,宠物
1964年1月20日 晚上9点 星期一 按指示
（珍说，她现在传递赛斯的消息时，在大声朗读出来之前并不能在内部听到词语。尤其是现在，她独自说话，而有意识当中并不知道，从这个字到下一个字是什么内容。这是一种很奇怪的感觉。唯一可以在大声朗读之前，从内部听到词语的时刻，是当赛斯在传讯过程中已经暂停，并即将恢复的时候。
（今天晚上，珍从8:45就能感觉到赛斯“在推她”准备开始。并在课结束后的三小时内，已经在床上，她从赛斯那里获得了额外的短语，但随即关闭。那时，她非常疲惫。
（本节课三个小时期间，珍的嗓音比平常稍微洪亮和深沉；在此期间，没有感觉焦虑，不像在漫长的一天结束到来时的习惯性疲倦。
（我们像往常一样开始，坐在显灵板前，没有说话。
（自动回答）
晚上好。
（“晚上好，赛斯”。
（珍已经在内部接收到赛斯，所以她把显灵板放在一边，像往常一样，开始踱步并听写。）
我要用你们就马尔巴·吐司的中间层面开个小玩笑。中间层面的马尔巴是你们恰当的写照。其实，马尔巴，就像她自己说的那样，是一个不太聪明的女人，死于1946年的南达科州。
中间层面确实是她现在属于的半层面的精彩描述。你可以推测，这是人格发展到了特定阶段的一个等待层面。比如说，我本人就不在这个半层面。中间层面或半层面包含发展中的各个阶段的片段的聚集，只可惜他们此刻没有得到足够的知识或没有取得进一步发展的可操作性。也就是说，他们可能处于演化发展过程的不同阶段，并且他们成就着这唯一公平的阶层。他们没有出色的表现，但也没有失败；他们正在努力用一个相当解离的方式走出自己的问题。换句话说，他们还不属于、或尚未决定从事于，他们前进的下一层面。
他们在一定的方面，可以对你有利。其信息的有效性可能非常优秀。另一方面，它有时，仅仅是因为他们成就的程度不高也可能不值得信赖。如果他们犯错，也是出于无知。据我所知，马尔巴可以帮助你。我会说易怒的老马尔巴，并且她甚至就没有舒适过。
我知道你相当关心的是行星和层面之间的区别。我也知道你的心内充满了沉重的问题，就像沉重的石块填满了无尽的深渊一样。你当然没把那些巨大的射电星看成是小巧可爱的美国广播公司的发射器？它们不是想象中的那样。至于哪个更重要，哪个是你宁愿让我首先去讨论的，我承认我左右为难。我已经收集了你和鲁伯的做梦、飞碟、你的幻觉、层面、行星和射电星，投向我的各种怪异炸弹。你肯定认为我的名字首先是百科全书。为简单起见你就叫我赛克*好了，拼写是P - S - Y - C - H。
*译注：他自称是赛斯，百科全书是Encyclopedia，中间有“赛克”的发音。译者
至于珍的悬浮梦，我自己是她的荣幸，并且是不称职的老师。她在梦境状态，确实干得漂亮。她醒了就脚步沉重。此外，还有其他两位老师，我会在以后的资料深入进行这些讨论。
我建议，并强烈地建议约瑟，你要进行瑜伽练习。你会发现这有很大的帮助。他们不仅有利于你的身体状况，并且他们会帮助你的课，并在未来进一步的实验中，你将参与其中。
（现在珍的嗓音已经达到了课中保持平衡的状态；有点响，一点清晰，一点渐弱。）
马尔巴在睡眠和潜意识方面的许多建议非常好，应该得到遵守。如果你担心你的房间在滴水，请彻底调查一次。我们会等待。
（我听见工作室内有像滴水的声音，并从客厅桌子上方回头看了一眼。最近下了一场暴雨，有时这会伴随着屋顶漏水。
（“没关系。我以前没有注意到这些声音”。）
你有什么特别的问题吗？
首先，如果你能原谅，我想说一说，你去年冬天最终最终得病的情况。就你利用艺术才能来说，你缺乏的自信和关注、你神经质性的、恐惧的灵性态度，像许多围墙一样开始建立起来。自我越来越多地囚禁了你。你潜意识的愈合能力和隐藏在潜意识之下的生命力，变得抑制、看似无法释放。
自我，正如我之前所说的，是极其重要的。然而，它仅仅是你称为你自己的那个东西的一部分。你的艺术能力并不属于你的自我，亲爱的约瑟，虽然我明白，但说起来，你们层面的人，都把他自己认同为他的自我，当他说“我是”，他的意思就是他是他的自我，或者他的自我是。
尽管如此，自我是隐藏的自己在你所知的物质宇宙中操控的工具。自我能够使你沿着必要的线路利用或汇聚你的艺术能力，以便使它在你们层面更加有效。然而，当自我以某种程度包括进入恐惧当中的时候，它就不再是一个有效的工具，而变成了一把不停打在你的头上的锤子。
这里似乎比现在的一瞥包括了更多。这个资料可能不像你的飞碟那样令人吃惊，但它可能是非常有用的。现在，我已经看到你挣扎于不同的时间和场合之中，我简直是听而不闻，因为我知道你在约克海滨的经历，我还知道过来的这几年的其他事故。
自我必须轻松地坐着，否则就会扼杀了位于下方的天赋。这恰恰就是你的才华，你的才华成为了现在这个特定时刻的人格。不过，你也比你知道的你更多。你的潜意识是比你知道的更大的一部分，自我只不过是潜意识的最顶端。根本没有分界线，你和你的潜意识就像你的自我一样多。
现在，当这个自我变得过于担心实际问题时，它就习惯于消极的反应。外在感觉就会不敏捷或不流畅。创意的能量建立起尺寸厚重的恐惧伪实相。对于一定数量的时间，根据你的状态，它们会自动地创建属于自我的恐惧模式。
这些恐惧的事情并不属于潜意识。那么，这些恐慌和疼痛的具体化，戏弄着被自我投射的肉体躯体，并从它们进行的自然建设性任务中，窃取潜意识心智的能量。换句话说，自我变成了一个破坏性的，而不是创造性的工具。
你过去并没有正确理解这种关系。你理解毁灭性倾向，但你把它们放在了潜意识当中。现在，无论现在还是未来，都不必再产生这无尽或似乎无休止的循环。就像鲁伯对你所说过的那样，这种解离是一种极佳的训练，这将保证你以尽可能最好的方式利用能量。我并没有在以任何方式暗示要忽略自我，仅仅是不再把这个工具当作主体。
我建议休息一下。
（9:43。在休息期间珍的嗓音突然恢复到正常的语调。9:50继续听写。）
你看，亲爱的约瑟，当然，潜意识和自我都属于你。为了简便起见，我说的是自我和潜意识，实际上它们是一个。潜意识为了使自我能够实现其目标，把它作为一种工具，形成并投射了自我的具体化。当这些目标和才能单独地归因于自我时，可以说，它们就可以身首异处。
（截至目前，珍的嗓音已经恢复了深沉的语调。）
你自己的潜意识是你的个性特征和人格的源泉。可以从这里闪烁出你的智慧。当自我变得过于关注于日常事物，换句话说，过于关注于烦恼的时候，那么该工具的作用就会被堵塞。它会变得无效。解离，我会给你很多实现解离的方法，解离是疏通、并且绝对是一个必要的工具。自由发挥作用的潜意识或内在的你，对于照顾全部现实的潜意识具有完全的能力，并会把自我当作一种工具而检查其完成的情况。
解离可以把能量归回原处。鲁伯过去看似不切实际的建议，远远比那些所谓理智的实际结论更加实用。鲁伯总是直觉地感受到解离的重要性，但并不知道如何去实现它。
旅行当然是最简单的方法，鲁伯偶然发现了它。日常的解离方法是非常实用和有益的。如果不是更早的话，你在几个星期内就会注意到额外的能量。就你而言，所谓的冲动往往会平息，因为你的自我会发现它们不切实际。潜意识知道哪个是自我的肉食和调料，并知道进行营养的最佳手段。
要开始瑜伽的练习，并忠实地遵照它们。你不多的几次自我暗示睡眠的练习，一直就是自我受阻的。你用肌肉僵硬的术语来考虑这一点，就会明白我的意思。一定要在昏昏欲睡的状态进行暗示，鲁伯，约瑟；不要试图去欺骗或命令潜意识。暗示就是所需的全部。你对大自然的热爱，约瑟，鲁伯，你们对大自然的爱，如果你这样利用它的话，是另一种解离的方法，也可以。
约瑟，如果你不舒服，我建议你挪到坚固的旧摇椅上。
（“不用，我没事”。
（这很容易明白我为什么一直在蠕动。）
我对你的喜爱，约瑟，是非常强烈的。如果我说笨手笨脚是因为我希望你轻松一点。解离实际上是人格创造性方面更强大的统一。它推你回来，它或者是把你的创造才能召回来，放在司机座位上。然而，你还不知道你有多么强大。
你会发现上面提到的练习比你想象的更有益。特别是因为你在某一生中是如此的奢侈，我把它叫做丹麦事件，你有时过度地补偿了。你把自己放在这么紧密的联结中，你偶尔会感觉喘不过气来。好事太多就是坏事。
坚信你的直觉。你的确具有直觉。你完全没有必要害怕它们。你已经弥补了你的错误，约瑟。我承认在你的发展中一度的冲动不是最好的。现在看起来，那也没有理由对它们棒打致死。
你在工作习惯和生活习惯中的约束令人钦佩。通过你的过去一世，也就是这次生命前边的一世，你就沿着这些方向取得了进展。现在看来你不必用钢锻造它们。它们足够的强大和可靠。你不必感觉它们会让你失望。现在，为了你自己和你遵循的艺术，你必须让自己的内在更加自由。你当前的人格有打造一个约束的趋势，其结果会牵制你强烈的创造性倾向。这真的需要控制。现在，你已经拥有了它们。你在冲动上加盖了狂暴的印章，因为你曾经感觉它们背叛了你。
现在，我请求你对它们严加管制。这对已出现的身体问题是关键，如果你还记得它们以不同的形式、不同的地方、不同的时间，甚至你重视的艺术之前的时间，打扰过你的话。
怕时间不足就囤积它。囤积就是把它扼杀。要尊重时间，而不能囤积，是要放大每个瞬间，使之成为比一刻更多的时刻，而这只有你潜意识的驱动器，强烈的自由才能实现这一目标。
建议你稍微休息一下。重新读一下资料，我会继续。如果在我把鲁伯或多或少安全无损地留下来的期间，有什么打击到了你的话，只是因为鲁伯早期不愉快的特殊环境，使解离成为生存的必需品，因此那是在幼年时期的经历教训。
不过你们两个在相互影响，因为鲁伯强烈的直觉会帮助你。而其他时间，鲁伯甚至在物质化之前就感知到了你的心境状态，这会将鲁伯带到过度焦虑状态，而这对你俩都不是有益的。
你可以休息。我意识到，我一直在滔滔不绝的讲话。你是我那么想要帮助的挚友。即使这样，也很难把所有这些记在脑子里，特别是涉及当前人格、以及它与过去生命联系的时候。
（10:25。休息后珍的嗓音恢复了稍深的洪亮嗓音。10:30继续。）
至于吸烟而言，亲爱的鲁伯，我不想让你难过。然而，你在不久的将来，会自己发现不需要这个习惯。我很惊讶约瑟的吸烟时间那么长。他这是一种完全不寻常的放肆。
至于说到的生命解读，以后还会提到。
鲁伯的训练进行的非常好。不过，我希望我们再等待一段时间。随着鲁伯更加熟练于此，会有少量的物质形象显示。现在你们自己可以尝试任何有一定价值的实验。你说到的催眠是无害的。在目前这些课里，鲁伯能够让我说话，很显然，这意味着鲁伯让我透过来。
我希望你会发现，今天晚上的课非常有益。鲁伯倡导的瑜伽呼吸运动，也将会成为对你的帮助。记得，要慢慢地去放松。
在珍厨房墙壁上的树是非常好看的，它也是你们开放的象征。我不能说，鲁伯会为厨房墙上的一幅画、或厨房墙壁上别的什么东西发疯，但珍已经完全不是那个鲁伯了。
（昨天，珍说她一直想在厨房的墙上画一幅画。厨房很小，我一时冲动用画笔和黑色防水墨水，在窗户旁边有限的空间内速写了一棵树。这是非常有趣的事情。在浅黄色的墙壁上这树似乎有漂浮的质感，尤其是在夜间，为房间增加了新的维度。）
我也建议，虽然我并不想放肆，你可让克劳斯先生过来，他可以很好地欣赏你的画。他也许不是圣诞老人，但没有任何伤害。
约瑟，你有什么特别的问题吗？在当地大学的艺术画廊，无论你与那里的克劳斯和其他什么人结识，都不会有什么害处。你还会发现你对灵性现象的兴趣，虽然你并不是在有意这样开始，你会看到这如何扩大了你的工作范围。
（克劳斯先生是埃尔迈拉学院的美术讲师。珍就是在他的课上，作了关于艺术和书写的演讲，同时也遇到了“穿上诗人服装的弗兰克·沃茨，”赛斯曾在另一嘉宾演讲中这样对他称呼。
（“赛斯，那段时间狗米沙死了，两只猫也死了，珍一直想知道我们家到底发生了什么？”）
先于动物的死亡之前，围绕在你们人格范围的特殊氛围是毁灭性的、短路的，并且具有内在恐慌。我不想伤害你们的情感。不过关于这一点我很抱歉的说，这在你们层面是一种自然发生的事情。事实是，动物获得了你们的情绪感染，并根据它们自己较小的能力对它进行了转换。
病毒和感染当然存在，但它们总是存在。它们自己是片段、是挣扎而无伤害意图的小片段。无论你们相信与否，你们对所有诸如此类的病毒和感染都具备综合免疫力。理想情况下，你可以毫不担心地和它们在一个层面和平共处。只有你的默许，这些片段才能对你造成伤害。较小依赖性的生命，比如家庭宠物，在一定程度上依赖于你们的灵性强度。它们有自己的能量和健康，这是事实，但你会在不知不觉中强化它们。
当你自己的人格或多或少处于平衡之中的时候，你对这些生物的照料，根本不会存在问题，你具有创意和同情的剩余能量，实际上加强了它们自身的存在。当你在精神压力或危机的时候，会相当不自觉地抑制了这种强烈的作用。
在猫的死亡中，两只猫都遗传了猫特有的疾病，这是一种病毒，它们杀死了它们。第一只猫的情况是，你能够增强它的，并在相当长的一段时间内保持健康的能量，而你本身在那个时间也需要能量。第二只猫几乎根本就没有享受过这样的加固作用，并很快屈服了。
（珍从她工作的艺术画廊传达室那里抱来的这两只小猫，来自连续的胎次，它们俩有相同的母亲。）
狗的病是初始性的，在任何情况下，你们多年来都没能保持他的健康。我想把这说清楚，当然，动物确实有能力维持自己的健康，但通常，因为动物是人类情绪的附加，这种能力可被人类的生命力强化。事实是，在它最需要的时候，你未能给你的狗注入情绪的生命力。没有必要责怪自己。这是你无法控制的。
（我们的狗米沙11岁时死于肾功能衰竭。）
动物与人一样有感知，当它们是一种负担时，狗会感知到它是一个负担、也是一个令人讨厌的东西。我宁愿你没有问过我这个问题，既然你问了，并且，你俩都喜欢狗，这就是应该的答案。
鲁伯，或者我现在会说珍，对你的母亲强烈不满，约瑟，这正好是在感恩节，是在动物死前。正是这样，因为她给出的强烈的负面暗示，实际上代表了一个转折点，并且不是一个好的转折点。这个暗示对于你和珍起了作用，并且对狗起到了作用。
我因为这个资料的情绪内容而再次建议休息。然而，休息后，我会直接连接个人责任，以及有关的健康情绪状态。
（11:06。珍11:16继续听写。）
解离会完全清除负面的暗示，是极为有利的。也不难实现。当你从佛罗里达州返回时，你和鲁伯无法在米沙需要的时候帮助它，甚至同样的道理，你的父母也不可能帮助它。你们正在全力以赴对抗焦虑的投射，因此不能捍卫现实。
解离，我会沿着这个思路进一步训练，将使你能够容忍你的父母并能帮助他们。没有它，你不能帮助他们，有时甚至增加他们的负担。你最近在鲁伯的帮助下，已经在这方面有所自我发展。鲁伯从你这里已经收到并正在接收必要的自律和控制的帮助，这对引导强烈的直觉能力是必要的。
在你自己的直觉能力方面，你正在从鲁伯那里接收需要的自由、和必要的信心。对你的人格方面有些奇怪的问题，或者我应该说矛盾的问题。比如说，在直觉上你一直自然地感觉到了一[unity]，但同时你在物质方面会怀疑要有什么证明。你与大自然背后的东西有天然的亲和力，这就是说，你感知到了大自然的灵[spirit]，但你同时又有一种，不相信你为什么不能看见、闻到或触摸这些东西的趋势。
这当然是矛盾的。幻想引不起你的兴趣。我这样说是冷冰冰的。理智上，你并没有参与其中，虽然你的想象力编织了它梦幻般的网络，然而你既不相信幻想也不相信这个网络。从一开始，你的艺术作品就表现出成功的希望。你的想象力丰富并变化多样。但你对你母亲经常导致无意的谎言和不诚实的夸张感知非常忧虑，从而使你拒绝了你的想象力，以免把你也带进欺骗的途径。
这当然发生在年轻的时候。同时，作为一个年轻的孩子，你几乎崇拜你的母亲。这导致了向着潜意识自由和想象力自由相互矛盾的情感。我们从丹麦的生存中结转了对冲动的不信任，强化了这个不幸的情况。按说这之前的一生已经充分补偿了丹麦的经历，但是在这一生中，母亲的情况重新唤醒了屈服于冲动的恐惧，并基于恐惧而倾向于加强对约束的愿望。
我希望用今晚的场合，很好地做一点个人方面的工作，如果这件事得到你同意的话。
（“好吧，请继续”。）
当然，你的父母在不知不觉的过程中危害了你很多。我现在使用珍，而不是鲁伯的名字只为方便起见。对于你的父母来说，珍在一定程度上已经解离了。你可以在这方面确信她的直觉和判断。不管你记不记得，她在佛罗里达州常说，他们不像你假设的那样高兴地看到你回来。在以后的日子我会介绍，她在佛罗里达州了不起的表演。
同样的，她强烈地感觉到，你应该借钱买到你们称之为公寓或平房的那个东西，那可能是你得到的最好的建议。有一次她为此激烈地流着眼泪。这似乎再次不是一个可行的解决方案。回首往事，你还不承认这是比你最终选择的那个，是更加实际的解决方案么？
如果这似乎是我在用小锤子打你的头，那只是因为我今晚只说你们的事。相信我，鲁伯会转变的。这个资料绝不会损害你的信心，但可以显示你已经在开始补救过去的错误。最重要的是，你们俩要运作得像一个团队。出于这个原因，你们有必要明白什么是特定的优势和劣势，要知道努力的方向，而尽量依靠各方面的能力，并避免各种陷阱。
对于你的自我，约瑟，不言而喻、并强烈建议你委托给珍，在埃尔迈拉电台那次她已经很激动，这个建议非常好，并且，免去了你们很多痛苦。不管怎样，她接受了它，因此它帮助了你们俩。假如在迈阿密，甚至后来在塞尔，如果你听从了她，你们有可能会避免你们自己被称为一次真正的痛苦所打击。如果你还不太累，那就休息一下，我会继续下去。如果你想结束今晚的演讲，可就此收工。
（“不，我宁愿继续”。）
你们的马尔巴说的很正确，她说，这是一个用一生完成的项目，现在你已经非常了解，我会用我自己的方式去完成。适当的时候，你将获得对你的生命解读、以及其他你感兴趣的资料，甚至还有一些你将要变得产生兴趣的资料。我感觉今晚是进入这个特殊资料的时间。你必须明白，你的个人资料本身就是一个项目，并将持续一生。
你和鲁伯的父母，他们自己都出了问题，而约瑟的父母是另一个问题。
约瑟的情况更是在手边，因此你们俩有必要学会应付这种情况的最好办法。解离将特别有助于鲁伯的情况，因为它已经被经历过实践，在一定程度上可以信赖。因为它面对的是约瑟的父母，这对于鲁伯也更容易练习解离。
因此，我建议鲁伯现在就要确定与约瑟父母的关系，直到约瑟赶上来。约瑟的母亲会是特别的难以处理，因为这与她的，即便约瑟也会反抗的情绪相对立。他现在处于困难境地。
事实上，因为鲁伯现在是一个女人，而且鲁伯非常不喜欢自己的母亲，这两个女人之间确实出了一些问题。也就是说，珍和约瑟的母亲。然而这可以处理。至于约瑟这一生之前的一生，现在几乎还不是对其进行探讨的时间。然而它相对平静。
洛伦虽然也代表着父亲的特性，其实非常像你现在的母亲。父母双方都强烈地扭曲、怪异和变形地发展了情绪人格。三个兄弟有力地反抗这种夸张，并在父亲的参与下，不同程度的隐藏了情绪。约瑟似乎具有父亲的纪律和秩序的什么东西，就像洛伦。然而，在父亲的情况下，这些看起来的特点，实际上是被强迫包装的凝固的情绪。
因为父亲在仪式化的挑剔、冲动中冻结了情绪，他在某些方面其实不那么危险，而在其他方面则更加危险，因为强制性的框架，始终有爆炸的威胁。同样，解离不仅是你最好的武器，而且是你帮助你父母的最有用的工具。
我注意到已经到后半夜了，并建议结束。你会发现，我会在某些夜晚，会因为你们的心境状态而继续这种资料，因为不会长时间逃避，最终会说到鲁伯的资料。
我的确想向你表示祝贺，约瑟，如果你能知道我进行得有多么艰难的话。然而你一直在大踏步前进，不管你相信还是不相信，你增强的潜意识自由会给你额外的能量，并提供个人切实可行的解决方案，远远比你过去可能的梦想更为有益处。我现在真的不想离开。这又戳到了我的痛处。
我希望这资料就像我们五维虚拟设备例子中一样有趣。而在最后，我想说，任何你们可能会试图考虑的实验，最终结果都会非常好。
现在，晚安，我最亲爱的朋友。你们已经做得很好。而且，约瑟，你已经很多次都做得很好了，现在做得也很好。
给老马尔巴·吐司一点儿黄油，并告诉她我比她更容易发怒。
（坐在显灵板旁，我们用指针说晚安。显灵板回答:）
晚安。
（12:25结束。）
SESSION 17
JANUARY 20, 1964 9 PM MONDAY AS INSTRUCTED
（Jane reports that as she delivers Seth’s messages now, she does not hear the words within before speaking them aloud; rather now she talks along without knowing consciously what she will say from one word to the next. It is a very strange feeling. The only time she will hear words within before speaking them aloud, is when Seth has paused during a delivery and is about to resume.
（By 8:45 this evening, Jane could feel Seth “pushing at her,’’ ready to begin. And at the end of the session three hours later, while in bed, she caught additional phrases from Seth but promptly shut them off. By then she was very tired.
（During this session Jane spoke for three hours in a voice somewhat louder and deeper than usual; and during this time she felt no strain, other than the accustomed tiredness coming at the end of a long day.
（We began as usual by sitting at the board without speaking.
（Gratis）
Good evening.
（“Good evening, Seth.”
（Jane was already receiving Seth within, so she laid the board aside and began to pace and dictate, as usual.）
I’ll go along with your little joke about Malba Toast of the midplane. Malba of the midplane was your apt description. Actually Malba herself was a not-too-intelligent woman who died in 1946 in South Dakota, as she said.
The midplane is indeed an excellent description of the semiplane which she now inhabits. It is as you deduced a waiting plane for personalities at certain stages of development. For example, I myself am not on a semiplane. The midplane or semiplane contains a conglomeration of fragments at all stages of development, except that they have not attained sufficient knowledge or manipulability to progress further at this point. That is, they may be at various stages of evolutionary development but they are on an only fair level of achievement. They have not excelled, neither have they failed; they are working out problems of their own in a rather dissociated fashion. In other words they do not belong as yet, or are not committed to the next plane of their advancement.
They can be of benefit to you along certain lines. The validity of their information may be excellent. On the other hand it may also be less than trustworthy at times, simply because their achievement level is not high. If they err, they do so through ignorance. As far as I know Malba can be of help to you. I would say crusty old Malba, but she is not even toasty.
I know you are rather concerned with the differentiation between planets and planes. I also know your mind is filled with ponderous questions, like an endless chasm filled to the brim with heavy rocks. Certainly you didn’t expect those huge radio stars to be cute little RCA transmitters? They are not quite that. I am in a quandary, and I admit it, as to which matters you would prefer I discussed first. I gather all sorts of weird projectiles thrown at me with vibrant force. Dreams, yours and Ruburt’s, your flying saucers, some of your visions, planes, planets and radio stars. You’d think surely that my first name was Encyclopedia. Just call me Psych for short, and spell it P-s-y-c-h.
As far as Jane’s levitation dreams, I myself was her delighted but inept teacher. In the dream state she did beautifully. Awake she had leaden feet. There were also two other teachers, but I will go into these at a later date.
I would suggest Joseph, and strongly, that you take up the yoga exercises. You will find these of great help. Not only will they benefit your physical condition, but they will help you in these sessions and in further experiments in which you will become involved in the future.
（By now Jane’s voice had reached the state it would maintain for the balance of the session; somewhat louder, a little sharper, a little lower.）
Many of Malba’s suggestions along the lines of sleep and the subconscious were very good and should be followed. If you are worried about water dripping in your room by all means investigate. We will wait.
（I’d heard sounds like water dripping in my studio, and had been looking back toward it from my desk in the living room. Recently we’d had a heavy storm, and sometimes this was followed by a leaky roof.
（“It’s okay. I just hadn’t noticed those sounds before.”）
Do you have any particular questions?
First of all if you’ll forgive me, I would like to go into the situations culminating in your illness of this time last winter. Your psychic state of nervousness, fear, lack of confidence and lack of focus as far as utilizing your artistic abilities were concerned, began to build up like many encircling walls. The ego imprisoned you more and more. Your subconscious healing abilities and the hidden subconscious vitality beneath became dammed up, seemingly with no means of release.
The ego, as I have said before, is extremely important. It is however only a part of what you call yourself. Your artistic ability does not belong to your ego, dear Joseph, though I understand as I speak that anyone on your plane identifies himself with his ego, and when he says “I am,” he means he is his ego, or his ego is.
Nevertheless, the ego is the tool by which the hidden self manipulates in the physical universe as you know it. The ego enables you to use or focus your artistic ability along the lines necessary to make it effective on your plane. However when the ego becomes involved with fears to a greater or lesser extent, it ceases to be an effective tool and becomes instead a hammer hitting you incessantly over the head.
There is much more involved here than would seem to be present at first glance. This material may not be as startling as your flying saucers, but it may be extremely useful. Now, I have seen you flounder at various times and occasions, but I could not make myself heard. As I knew of your York Beach experience, I also knew of other occurrences through the past few years.
The ego must sit lightly, otherwise it can smother the talent that lies beneath. This is very properly your talent, your talent as a personality at this particular time. However, you are also more than you know. Your subconscious is a greater part of you than you know, and the ego is nothing more than the topmost portion of the subconscious. There is after all no dividing line, and you are as much your subconscious as you are your ego, and more.
Now when this ego becomes overly concerned over practical matters it becomes overly conditioned to negative responses. The outer senses are not as quick or as fluent. The creative energies build up their thickly-dimensioned pseudo realities of pain. For a certain amount of time, according to your condition, they automatically create the patterns of fear that belong to the ego.
These fears do not belong to the subconscious. Then these materializations of panic and pain play about the physical body, projected by the ego and stealing the powers of the subconscious mind from their natural constructive tasks to do so. In other words, the ego becomes a tool to disrupt rather than to create.
In the past you did not understand properly this relationship. You understood the destructive tendencies but you placed them in the subconscious. The endless or seemingly endless circle need not occur now, or in the future. This dissociation of which Ruburt has spoken to you is an excellent discipline that will insure your use of energy in the best possible manner. I am not suggesting that the ego be ignored in any manner, merely that the tool is not allowed to become the master.
I suggest that you take a break.
（Break at 9:43. During break Jane's voice abruptly returned to its normal tone. She resumed dictating at 9:50.）
You see, dear Joseph, the subconscious and the ego, of course, are both you. For simplicity’s sake I will speak of the ego and the subconscious, though they are actually one. The subconscious forms and projects the materializations of the ego as a tool to enable it to attain its goals. When these goals and talents are attributed to the ego alone they are so to speak decapitated.
（By now, Jane's voice had resumed its deeper tone.）
Your own subconscious is the fountain of your individuality and personality. From it springs your talent. When the ego becomes too concerned with daily matters, with worry in other words, then the works of the tool become clogged. It becomes ineffective. Dissociation, and I will give you many ways of achieving it, unclogs the tool and is absolutely necessary. The freely working subconscious, or the inner you, is completely capable of taking care of all practical considerations, and will use the ego as a tool to see that this is done.
Dissociation puts the power back where it belongs. Ruburt’s seemingly impractical suggestions in the past have been much more practical than some of your intellectual so-called practical conclusions. At the time Ruburt felt intuitively the importance of dissociation but didn’t know how to achieve it.
A trip of course was the easiest method and Ruburt hit upon it. Daily methods of dissociation are extremely practical and beneficial. You will notice within a few week’s time, if not sooner, an added energy. So-called impulses on your part are often quelled because your ego finds them impractical. The subconscious knows its own meat and sauce, and the best means for its own nourishment.
Begin the yoga exercises and follow them faithfully. Your few experiences with autosuggestion upon falling asleep have been ego-bound. Think of this in terms of muscle-bound and you will see what I mean. Be in a drowsy state and suggest, Ruburt, suggest, Joseph; do not attempt to bully or command the subconscious. Suggestions are all that are needed. Your love of nature, Joseph, and Ruburt your love of nature, is another method of dissociation, or can be if you use it as such.
Joseph, if you are uncomfortable I suggest you move to your sturdy old rocker.
（“No, I’m okay.”
（But it was easy to see why I had been squirming.）
My affection for you Joseph is extremely strong. If I speak heavy-handedly it is because I want you to have a light touch. Dissociation actually is a stronger unity with the creative aspects of your personality. It puts you back, or it puts your creative talents back, in the drivers seat. As yet you have no idea how strong you are.
You will find the above-mentioned exercises more beneficial than you imagined. Because you were such a fleshpot particularly in one of your lives, shall I call it the Denmark incident, at times you overcompensate. You hold yourself in such tight bonds that occasionally you can hardly breathe. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
Trust your intuitions. You do have them. There is absolutely no need for you to fear them. You have made up for your mistakes, Joseph. At one time in your development I admit your impulses were not of the best. That is no reason to club them to death now.
Your discipline in working habits and in living habits is admirable. Through your past life, that is the life before this one, you progressed along these lines. You do not have to forge them with steel now. They are sufficiently strong and dependable. You do not have to feel that they will let you down. Now for your own sake and for the sake of the art that you follow, you must allow yourself more inner freedom. There is a tendency in your present personality for forging discipline into a bond that could tie down your strong creative tendencies. It is true you needed controls. Now you have them. You stamped down upon your impulses with a frenzy, since once you felt they betrayed you.
Now I beg of you to give them more reign. This is the key to physical problems that have arisen, and if you recall they bothered you in different form in different places from the time, and even before the time, that you took art up seriously.
To be afraid of the shortage of time is to hoard it. To hoard it is to strangle it. But to respect time is not to hoard it, but to let each moment enlarge so that it becomes more than a moment, and only the strong freedom of your subconscious drives can achieve this.
I suggest you take a short break. Reread the material and I will continue. And if it seems I am lighting into you while leaving Ruburt more or less unbothered and intact, it is only because Ruburt’s particular disagreeable early circumstances made dissociation a necessity for survival, and therefore it was learned at an early age.
Nevertheless the two of you interact, and because Ruburt is strongly intuitional at times he is a help to you. And at other times Ruburt senses your state of mind even before it materializes, and this sends Ruburt into an overanxious state which is not beneficial to either of you.
You may take your break. I realize that I’ve run on. You are such a beloved friend that I want to help you along these lines as much as possible. Even then it is difficult to keep all aspects in mind, particularly as far as the present personality and its relation to past lives.
（Break at 10:25. After break Jane's voice resumed its slightly deeper and louder tone. Resume at 10:30.）
As far as smoking is concerned, dear Ruburt, I don't want to break your heart. However you will find yourself dispensing with the habit in the very near future. I am amazed that Joseph smoked as long as he did. This was after all an uncharacteristic excess for him this time.
As far as life readings are concerned, I will go into the matter later.
Ruburt’s training is coming along very well. However I prefer that we wait a while longer. As Ruburt becomes more proficient there will be less screening of material. Any experiments you may try on your own will now be of definite value. Your ideas as far as hypnotism are concerned are harmless. At the present time Ruburt in these sessions is able to let me speak, obviously, which means that Ruburt allows me to come through.
I hope you will find this evening’s session practically beneficial. The breathing exercises that Ruburt initiated with the yoga will also be a help to you. Remember to go slowly and to relax.
The tree on Jane’s kitchen wall is very nice, and it is also significant as far as your opening up is concerned. I cannot say that Ruburt would go mad over a painting on a kitchen wall, or anything else on a kitchen wall, but then Jane is a different Ruburt all over again.
（Yesterday Jane remarked that she had always wanted a drawing done on our kitchen wall. The kitchen is very small, but on the spur of the moment I used a brush and black waterproof ink to do a quick sketch of a tree on a limited space next to the windows. It was much fun to do. The tree appears to have a floating quality on the light yellow wall, especially at night, and has added a new dimension to the room.）
I would suggest also, though I don’t mean to be presumptuous, that you ask Mr. Clauss over, where he can get a good look at your paintings. He may not be Santa Claus, but it will do no harm.
Joseph, do you have any questions in particular? There would be no harm either in going to the art gallery at your local college and getting acquainted with Clauss and others there. You will see also how your interest in psychic phenomena has increased the scope of your work, although you did not begin it with that intention.
（Mr. Clauss is an instructor in art at Elmira College. It was to his class that Jane spoke on censorship in art and writing—and also ran into “a Frank Watts in poets clothing, 'as Seth called him, in the form of another guest speaker.
（“Seth, Jane has wanted to know what was going on here in the house during the time our dog Mischa died, and when the two cats also died.”）
The particular atmosphere surrounding your personalities just prior to the animals’ deaths was destructive, short-circuited and filled with inner panics. I do not want to hurt your feelings. This is, I am sorry to say, a natural occurrence on your plane. The fact is that the animals caught your emotional contagion, and according to their lesser abilities translated it for themselves.
The viruses and infections were of course present. They always are. They are themselves fragments, struggling small fragments without intention of harm. You have general immunity, believe it or not, to all such viruses and infections. Ideally you can inhabit a plane with them without fear. It is only when you give tacit agreement that harm is inflicted upon you by these fragments. To some degree, lesser, dependent lives such as household pets are dependent upon your psychic strength. They have their own, it is true, but unknowingly you reinforce their energy and health.
When your own personalities are more or less in balance you have no trouble at all in looking out for these creatures, and actually reinforcing their own existence with residues of your creative and sympathetic powers. In times of psychological stress or crisis, quite unwittingly you withhold this strong reinforcement.
In the cats’ deaths both cats inherited the peculiar illness, which was a virus, that killed them. In the case of the first cat, you were able to reinforce its strength and maintain its health for quite a while, and then you needed your energies for yourselves. The second cat barely enjoyed such reinforcement at all, and quickly succumbed.
（Jane had obtained both kittens from the janitor at the art gallery where she works. Both had the same mother although they came from successive litters.）
Your dog's illness was incipient. You could not have maintained his health for many long years in any case. I would like to make clear, of course, that animals certainly do have energy to maintain their own health, but this is strongly reinforced as a rule by the vitality of human beings to whom the animals are emotionally attached. The fact is, you were not able to give your dog that added emotional vitality at a time when he needed it most. There is no need to blame yourselves. It was beyond your control.
（Our dog Mischa was 11 years old when he died of kidney failure.）
Animals, like people, sense when they are a burden, and the dog sensed that he was a burden, and also something of a nuisance. I would have preferred that you did not ask me this question, but since you did and since you both loved the dog, it deserves an answer.
Ruburt, or I will say Jane now, strongly resented your mother, Joseph, on that Thanksgiving directly before the animal’s death. And rightly so, since the strong negative suggestions given by her actually represented a turning point, and not a good one. The suggestion acted upon you and Jane, as well as upon the dog.
I suggest again that you take a break, because of the emotional content of this material. However, directly after the break I want to tie this in with personal responsibility, as far as healthy emotional states are concerned.
（Break at 11:06. Resume with Jane dictating at 11:16.）
Dissociation will blot out negative suggestions and is extremely beneficial. Nor is it difficult to achieve. It was impossible, Joseph, for your parents to even be decent when you returned from Florida for the same reason that you and Ruburt were unable to help your Mischa in his time of need. You were using all available energies to fight nervous projections, and therefore could not help maintain what was real.
Dissociation, and I will give you further training along this line, will enable you to bear your parents and to help them. Without it you cannot help them, and sometimes even add to their burdens. You have developed somewhat in this area lately on your own, and with Ruburt’s help. From you Ruburt has received and is receiving necessary aids in self-discipline and control, which are necessary to channel the strong intuitional abilities.
From Ruburt you are receiving needed freedoms and necessary confidence in your own intuitional powers. There are strange aspects, or should I say contradictory aspects, in your personality. For instance intuitively you have always felt a unity with nature, yet at the same time you distrusted what could not be proven in material terms. You had a natural affinity with things behind nature, that is you sensed the spirit of nature, and at the same time you had a tendency to distrust what you could not actually see, smell or touch.
This is certainly contradictory. Fantasy left you cold. I say this icily. Intellectually you would have no part in it, yet your imagination spun its fantastic web despite the fact that you believed in neither fantasy or web. Your artwork showed promise from the beginning. Your imagination was rich and varied. But you so feared your present mother's sense of exaggeration, that led often to sheer though unwitting lies and dishonesty, that you denied the capacity of the imagination lest it also lead you into ways of deceit.
This of course happened at a young age. At the same time as a young child you almost adored your mother. This led to these conflicting feelings toward freedom of the subconscious and of the imagination. Reinforcing this unfortunate circumstance, we have the carry-over distrust of impulse from the Denmark existence. Ordinarily the last life before this would have adequately compensated for the Denmark experience, but the mother situation in this life reawakened the fear of giving in to impulse, and tended to over strengthen the desire for discipline, which was based on fear.
I hope to use tonight’s occasion to do a good bit of work along this personal line, if this meets with your approval.
（“All right, please continue.”）
Your parents, unwittingly of course, can do you much harm. I use the name Jane now rather than Ruburt for the sake of convenience. Jane is dissociated to some degree as far as your parents are concerned. You can trust her intuition and judgment along these lines. In Florida she said often, whether you remember it or not, that they would not be as pleased to see you return as you supposed. At a later date I will go into her terrific demonstration at that occasion in Florida.
Also her strong feeling that you should borrow money and get an apartment or flat or whatever you call it, was the best advice you could have been given. She was vehement and in tears over this on one occasion. Again this did not seem a practical solution. Looking back, can you not agree with me that it was a much more practical solution than the one you ultimately chose?
If it seems I am hitting you over the head with a small hammer, it is only because tonight I am dealing with you. Ruburt, believe me, will get his turn. This material is meant in no way to corrode your confidence, but to show you past mistakes which you have already begun to remedy. More than others, the two of you operate as a team. For this reason it is necessary that you understand what your particular strengths and weaknesses are, and to know in which field of endeavor you can depend upon various abilities and avoid various pitfalls.
For your ego Joseph the unspoken but strong advice you gave Jane, who was carried away in Elmira at the radio station, this advice was excellent and saved you both much pain. However, she heeded it, therefore it helped you both. Had you heeded hers in Miami or even later in Sayre, you would have saved yourself what really can only be called an agonizing blow. If you are not completely exhausted then take a break and I will continue. If you are way down by tonight’s lecture you may call it a day.
（“No, I’d rather continue.”）
Your Malba spoke correctly when she said that this was a lifetime project, and you know me well enough by now to know that I am going about it in my own way. You will get your life readings in due time, and other material in which you are interested, and still other material in which you will become interested. I felt that tonight was the time to go into this particular material. You must realize that just your personal data is a project in itself, and just to cover this one life at that.
Your parents, Ruburt, are a problem in themselves, and Josephs are another.
Joseph’s are closer at hand, and therefore it is necessary that you both learn the best way to handle that situation. Dissociation will help particularly in Ruburt’s case, since already it is being practiced and can be relied upon to some extent. It is also easier for Ruburt to practice dissociation since it is Joseph’s parents who are involved.
I would suggest therefore that Ruburt determine your relationship with Joseph’s parents for now until Joseph catches up so to speak. Joseph’s mother is particularly difficult to handle since it is against her emotionalism that Joseph first rebelled. He is in a difficult position now.
It is true that because Ruburt is now a woman, and because Ruburt dislikes his own mother so vehemently, that some problems do arise between the two women. That is, Jane and Joseph's mother. Nevertheless this can be handled. As for your life before this time Joseph, this is hardly the time to go into it. It was however relatively calm.
Loren is actually very much like your present mother, though the father’s characteristics are also represented. Both of the parents have strongly developed emotional personalities, distorted and actually shoved grotesquely out of shape. The three brothers reacted against this exaggerated, powerful and, in the case of the father, hidden emotionalism to varying degrees. Joseph picked up what seems to be the father’s discipline and orderliness, as did Loren. These seeming characteristics in the father’s case however are actually frozen emotionalism encased in compulsions.
Because the father freezes emotion in the ritual of fussy compulsion he is actually less dangerous in some ways and more dangerous in others, since the compulsive framework always threatens to explode. Again, dissociation is not only your best weapon but also your most helpful tool in helping both of your parents.
I notice it is after midnight and suggest you close. You will find that on certain evenings because of the state of your mind I will continue this material, and eventually get into Ruburt’s for he won't escape for long.
I do want to congratulate you Joseph if you can believe it after how hard I’ve hit. But you have been making great strides, and believe it or not the increased freedom of your subconscious mind will give you added energy and personal practical solutions far more beneficial than you would have dreamed possible in the past. I do not really want to leave now. I get wound up.
I hope this material is as interesting to you as for example our fifth dimensional imaginary apparatus. And in closing I would like to say that any experiments you may think of trying should certainly work out very well.
And now good night my very dear friends. You are already doing better. And, Joseph, you have done well many times, and you are doing well now.
Give old Malba Toast some butter and tell her I’m crustier than she is.
（Sitting at the board, we said good night with the pointer. The board replied.）
Good night.
（End at 12:25.）