3分钟学会一个雅思7分句系列(五十二)
听说每个高分烤鸭都星标了新航道3分钟学雅思
3分钟学会一个雅思7分句系列 | | 栏目推送说明
3分钟学会一个雅思7分句系列。成功就是日复一日那一点点小小努力的积累。
应对
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
这个题目
这个题目,学生在主体部分写了如下一句话:
Additionally, in educational aspect, video games have contributed a lot and still helping children and teenagers learning basic and professional skills, like speaking for kids and aircraft control for future pilots.
教师修改后的句子,如下:
Educationally speaking, video games have contributed a lot, enhancing players’ performance on decision making and visual memory.
▲ -ly speaking “从…角度来说”,可以作为两个观点的划分点;替换 besides/in addition等;
▲ 遇到and结构时,各位一定要看清前后在语法结构上是否平行,原句have done和helping明显的语法失误;
▲考官给出的题干中,讨论主体是“people who play them”,还是比较宽泛的,那我们可以广义上分析对所有玩家的好处,也可以将该主体细化;可是,后文中对children和teenagers的技能提升上对应举的例子“speaking”和“aircraft control”跨度也太大了,给读者一种很扯的阅读感受。因此,改写后对本部分进行调整,就所有玩家来看,现在分词短语enhancing players’ performance on something置于主句后,细化主句中的关键信息contribution,进行具体内容的补充;decision making and visual memory具象地适用于所有玩家。
★ 小总结 ★
不仅要多角度思考问题,还要有能力对该观点进行总结,不过度依赖生硬的并列连词、递进连词等。