What influence does the home environment have on p...
人们所做的每件事都是与空间相关联的,无论我们是独自完成还是与他人合作。
因此空间和周围的人都会影响我们的行为。
由于我们很难将二者分开,所以为了清楚地进行描述,我一般将他们分别称作物理环境(空间)和社会环境(人类)。
我们成年人的生活是持续地被不同的环境所改变塑造着的(例如,家庭、学校、单位等等)。
Talking about different environments, I am going to talk about the ONE environment that has had and still has a great impact on who we are today: our home environment.
It's probably not news for you that the relationship we have with our parents and the conditions we grew up in influence our perceptions about the world, but you are probably not aware of how big the influence actually is.
In Environmental Psychology we call this concept 'Nativism (Nature) vs. Learning (Nurture)', where 'Nativism (Nature)' refers to unchanging genetic influences, and 'Learning (Nurture)' refers to how, where and by whom we were brought up.
There is a lot of debate in the academic circles about how much of our perceptions are automatic (we were born with) and how much is learned.
Since a lot of academic research is done in labs and not in real life, in this article I will share my own interpretation of the concept, based on my personal and professional experience.
How does the home environment look like from an Environmental Psychology (EP) point of view?
从环境心理学(EP)角度来看,家庭环境的结构是什么?
Home environment = physical space in which we are brought up (e.g. our house, apartment etc.)
+ the cultural context in which the family lives (e.g. country, size of the city etc)
+ the family members (adding or removing a parent or a grandparent can make a huge difference)
+ the relationship between family members (e.g., the 婆媳关系, or the relationship between the mother and daughter-in-law)
+ family members view on how to raise a child (most of the sparks in the 婆媳关系 come from the different perceptions about raising children).
家庭环境 = 我们所成长的物理环境(例如,我们住的房子等等)
+ 我们的家庭所生活在的文化背景(例如,国家、城市、乡村等等)
+ 家庭成员(增加或减少一位父亲或母亲,祖父或祖母会对这个家庭产生巨大影响)
+ 家庭成员之间的关系(例如,婆媳关系)
+ 家庭成员对养育一个孩子的观点看法(例如,大部分婆媳之间的争斗都来源于对于养育孩子的不同看法)
Looking at this recipe, it is not really difficult to see why we should pay more attention to the influence that home environments have on us.
It's easy to take for granted your home environment and have it as a reference point for your perceptions about normality, but aside from your genetic background, try to imagine what kind of person you would have been if you were born in a completely different home environment.
从这个公式中,不难发现我们为什么需要更多关注家庭环境的影响。
把家庭环境视为理所当然,并把它作为自己正常看法的基础是很容易的,但是除了先天背景之外,你也可以尝试着去想象:如果你出生在一个与现在完全不同的家庭环境中,你会成长成一位怎样的人?
This being said, I strongly believe that if more people would become more aware of the extent to which the home environments influence us, we could potentially eradicate racism, as the way someone looks is definitely not an indication of who they actually are, their personality or what their potential really is.
When someone tells me they are an introvert, I can't but ask: “Are you sure?”
当有人跟我说他是一个很内向的人,我不得不问:“你确定吗?”
As far as my personal and professional experience goes, I think that introverts are just people who haven't found the right environments to help them discover their extrovert side.
As an environmental psychologist, I have the habit of constantly psychoanalyzing myself and others around me.
Although it is tiring at times, it has brought me a lot of insights.
For article length considerations, I will try to emphasize some of the outcomes of the home environment by sharing my own (oversimplified) psychoanalysis with you.
I will leave it to you to draw conclusions from your own home environment about the kind of person you really are.
In reality it's more of a reflection exercise, as it took me over 10 years to figure out most of these things about myself and I still can't confidently say that I have the full picture!
随着我个人和专业的经历越来越丰富,我了解到内向的人都只是还没有找到合适的环境去帮助他们发现自己外向的一面。
作为一个环境心理学研究者,我有不断地对我自己和我周围的人进行心理分析习惯。
虽然这么做有时候很累,但这让我增加了很多深刻的见解。
鉴于文章的篇幅限制,我会尝试给读者分享我自己的(极简的)心理分析法去重点强调一些家庭环境带来的影响。
然后我会邀请大家思考并得出结论,在自身家庭环境中的真正自我到底是怎样的?
其实,这么做更多是一个自我反思的练习,因为我花了十多年的时间去弄清楚我自己的这些事情,然而我现在依然无法自信地说我全部都搞明白了!
As a kid (4-6 years old), with parents who worked long hours and with no additional help from other family members to take care of me, I spent a lot of time home alone, because I also didn't like to go to the kindergarten.
As a result, my fun time was playing with dolls and my mom's empty perfume bottles.
Around that time, cable TV appeared, so I became fascinated by Italian cartoons, as well as the American Cartoon Network channel and spent hours watching them.
After a while, I realized that I could understand most of what the cartoon characters said, even if they didn't have Romanian subtitles.
Around middle-school, I became addicted to Latin American soap-operas so I ended up understanding Spanish as well.
在我小时候(4-6岁),父母每天工作都很忙,我也没有其他的家人能够来帮忙照顾我,大部分时间我都是独自在家,尤其是因为我不喜欢去幼儿园。
因此我只能依靠摆弄我的娃娃还有我妈妈的空香水瓶来取乐。
在那时候,有线电视问世了,于是我对意大利动画片还有美国卡通网络频道产生了浓厚的兴趣,我常常花好几个小时看这些。
经过一段时间后,我意识到我能听懂大部分卡通人物所说的话了,即使并没有罗马尼亚语字幕。
在中学时候,我迷上了拉丁美洲肥皂剧,因此我后来也能够听懂西班牙语了。
What's actually my point here?
我要表达的实际上是什么呢?
01
Given the home environment I grew up in, spending so much time at home watching TV, not going out much, up until my 20's, I thought I am an introvert person.
在我成长的家庭环境里,20多岁之前,我花费大量时间待在家里,很少出去玩,所以让我认为我是一个内向的人。
02
Not having my parents around too much, I got used to solving a lot of things on my own, thus became very independent, so independent that I don't really feel the need to have my parents around.
Just talking over the phone or WeChat and knowing that they are healthy and doing well is enough for me!
由于我的父母不经常陪在我身边,我习惯了自己解决问题,于是我变得非常独立,而如此独立让我觉得我不需要天天有父母在身边。
对我来说,通过电话或微信和他们聊天并确认他们健康平安就足够了!
03
For those who are always in awe about my language skills, talent has little to do with one's language learning ability.
Listening to other languages for a very long time has allowed me to learn these languages without attending too many language classes.
For the record, I am not disqualifying the benefit of attending language classes, but I am merely emphasizing the need to listen more to the language you want to learn, even though you feel you don't understand at first.
对于那些总是惊叹我语言技能的朋友,天赋对于语言学习技能起到的作用很小。
长时间去听其他语言已经让我不用参加太多课程就能掌握它们。
在这里要特别指出,我不是在否认参加语言课程的作用,我只是在强调多听你想学的语言的作用,即使你感觉一开始什么都听不懂。
粉丝互动 OPINION
How did your family envrionment influence you?
Write your opinion in the comments section and join the conversation.
Your opinion matters!
你的家庭环境对你有什么影响呢?
在评论区写下你的观点,跟我一起交流。
你的意见很重要!
Bonus
额外福利
If you want to read more about how nurture influences us, I strongly recommend the book 'Beyond Human Nature. How culture and experience shape the human mind', written by Jesse J. Prinz.
Follow the WeChat Account by clicking the button below and send the word 'prinz' as reply on the account to get the pdf.
如果你想读更多关于培育如何影响我们行为和认知的书,我强烈推荐《超越人性。文化和经验如何塑造人的思维模式
如果你想读更多关于培育如何影响我们行为和认知的书,我强烈推荐《超越人性。文化和经验如何塑造人的思维模式》这本书,作者:杰西·普林斯。