支招小作文 | “横”竖都是bar

听说每个高分烤鸭都星标了新航道3分钟学雅思

雅思小作文真题直击  |  |  栏目推送说明

分享雅思考试小作文真题范文。每一篇范文都经由专业团队反复校对，最终外教审查定稿。成功就是日复一日那一点点小小努力的积累。

本期小作文供稿：

章 跃

题源：剑桥真题集13的73页（横向的bars）

题目给出一个时间点：

2014年，写作者应确定两点：1.时态；2.“同时不同项（十个国家）”。

* 可以从结构的角度方面没有conclusion，但是从内容的角度方面不可以没有overview。如果overview在introduction处出现，那么可以从结构的角度而言没有conclusion。

高分范文及解析

☟☟☟

The bars illustrate ten countries’ production and consumption of electricity in the year of 2014, and the ten countries produced and consumed more electrical power than did the world’s other countries. Overall, of the ten countries, the two leading ones left the others far behind, and in nine of the ten countries, the production could meet the need  ←注意：没有机械的说成“was greater than the consumption”.

注意：Body和Introduction的信息联系（方框里的话）。

China and the US were the two leading countries.  ←总（笼统，免数据）-分（要有具体的数据信息）→ In China, the output and usage were both over 5,300 billion kWh, and in the US, the figures were roughly 4,000 billion, and the massive amounts made the two countries ahead of the other countries by enormous margins.

注意：被作者选出的main features是哪些。

Among the other eight countries, Russia is noteworthy,  ←总（笼统，免数据）-分（要有具体的数据信息）结构在一个句子中体现：主句描述“总”，状语从句描述“分”。→  since it was the only country where more than 1,000 billion kWh of electricity was produced and meanwhile consumed. By marked contrast, South Korea is noticeable for its lowest position. Germany and India are also notable.  ←总（笼统，免数据）-分（要有具体的数据信息）→ There was inadequacy of electricity in German, since the country produced 526 billion kWh whereas consumed 582 billion kWh, and, in India, the roughly 172 billion kWh surplus was the largest among the nine countries whose production was greater than the consumption. Meanwhile, Japan, Canada, France, and Brazil were on the top-ten list.