【爆笑】18件女人永远不会真正明白的事。。。

18件只有18+男子才懂的事。。。看不懂的女生请求教男票,看不懂的男生们。。。本帖不适合未成年人。。。

下面开始:

1
大热天,当你想要分离蛋蛋和大腿根,内心抓狂但又得假装冷静:

When you very casually try to unstick your balls from your leg on a hot day

2
这个对于分岔的同学来说是不是特熟悉啊?

This one will look familiar to anyone who’s been surprised with the double-stream:

3
唯一比上面这个还恶心的就是下面这个:

And the only thing more annoying is this:

当丁丁石。更。时试图嘘嘘

4
在厕所要解小手,结果某人直接走过一排空小便池,径直来到你旁边

There’s that moment when you’re trying to pee and someone ignores the empty line of urinals and stands right next to you:

5
但有的时候,你也被上天眷顾,看到一个单独的小便池:

But then there’s that beautiful moment when you get the rare solo urinal:

6
有时候你坐在马桶上,结果那玩意不小心碰到马桶圈:

Sometimes you sit down in a stall, and your penis accidentally touches the toilet seat:

Gross:恶心

7
或者更可怕的,马桶水!

Or even worse, the TOILET WATER:

8
还有某一次,你走进一个没有小便池的洗手间,知道自己走错了那一瞬间的剧烈恐慌:

And that small moment of panic when you walk into a restroom and there are no urinals, and you’re 100% sure you just made a mistake:

(相信很多人和小编一样,不小心走错洗手间,当时小编刚大学入学,真担心被以流氓罪抓起来呢。。。暴露年龄了)

9
在公众场合,蛋蛋开始发痒,但你啥也干不了:

That feeling you get when your balls start itching and you can’t do anything because you’re in public:

10
当你终于有机会的时候,那种“捏+转”的技术:

And when you finally get a chance, you have to employ the “pinch & roll” technique:

11
当你的另一半第一次看到你疲软的那玩意,她们这种表情:

When your S.O. sees your flaccid penis for the first time and they’re all like:

注:S.O.意思是 'Significant Other',另一半。

12
总有一些美妙瞬间,就硬生生地被你破坏:

There are those moments when you’re sure you just broke it:

下面的英文有点污,小编不好意思全翻译,提示两个关键词:ride:骑,坐。。。slip out: 滑出,掉出。。。请读者自己想象。。。

13
或者当另一半很好心地帮你洗衣服,但是洗了你所有的衣服:

Or when someone was nice and did your laundry, but they did ALL your laundry:

secret cum rag,男人们,你们懂的。。。

14
当你修剪了你的。。,你英姿勃发,自信满满:

That boost of confidence when you’re done with a trim:

(老外也不是全trim,加拿大美国相对普遍,法国男人就不这么干。。。华人么,你们自己最清楚。。。)

15
坦白讲,修剪的漂漂亮亮才够好:

Honestly, it’d be nice to just shave the whole lot sometimes:

16
当你不小心在不恰当的时候,突然“性”致勃勃:

When you get a random boner and it’s just not the time for it:

17
当你喝多了,想淘气一下,可是你的小兄弟不配合:车欠

But then you’re trying to get frisky after you’ve had a little too much to drink and your penis is just like:

18
当你猛然想起,你不会像女生一样经历大姨妈的折磨,你庆幸:

But then you remember that you don’t get a period, and you’re like:

有丁丁,做男人,挺好!

英文图文来源:buzzfeed

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