短片 | 怎样成为一个自律的人?
Hi,这里是『英语相伴』
2020,庆幸我们依然拥有彼此
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Meet Lucas. He's a young man about to enter college.
这位是卢卡斯,即将成为大一新生。
He's at a difficult life growing up with his only parent, his mother and his younger sister. Due to his difficulties in facing his adversities.
他在单亲家庭中长大生活困苦。家中有妈妈和妹妹。然而他无法面对生活压力。
He's lived a fairly unhealthy life and constantly indulges in partying drinking and smoking. One day his mother got quite sick and was rushed to the emergency.The most important person in his life has rocked through all the difficult times was on the verge of death.She put up a good fight, but unfortunately passed .and lucas became the man of the house,Not only did he have to take care of himself, but a sister as well.
卢卡斯夜夜笙歌无法自拔。某天他的母亲重病送急诊。曾一起度过各种难关生命中最重要的人在死亡边缘挣扎着。尽管母亲勇于对抗病魔,最后还是离开人世。卢卡斯则成了一家之主。他必须照顾自己,还要照顾妹妹。
It was summer break, and so Lucas immediately took on a full-time job as janitor.He had to provide for himself,And his younger sister. His only goal was to go to work each day and clean. Day in and day out he went. He took on every opportunity at extra shifts.His discipline and working was unwavering.
正值暑假,卢卡斯找了一份全职的工作——工友,他得养活自己,还得养活妹妹。他唯一的目标就是每天都去工作,日复一日,他不放弃任何一个赚钱的机会,养家的意志不曾动摇。
He used the money to buy himself and his sister some food for dinner every night.He didn't want to tell his friends. He was working as a janitor,So when they asked if you wanted to go out in the evenings and party he decided thathe would tell them that he had To tutor his little sister and cook her dinner.
他每天都帮自己和妹妹买晚餐,他不想让朋友知道自己在当工友,每次朋友晚上约他去狂欢,他都以教妹妹的功课和晚餐为由拒绝。
Lucas fell into the flow of going to work every day and eventually got used to it. It wasn't the chore for him anymore.He decided to stop buying junk food for himself and his sister.and decided he would cook them a healthy dinner after work each day and then prepare breakfast for the next day.He kept this routine up.Working and then cooking, working and then cooking.
卢卡斯习惯了每天工作的节奏,工作对他来说再也不是负担,他决定再也不买垃圾食物,而是在每天工作结束后,准备健康的晚餐和隔天的早餐。从不间断的作息,工作、下厨、工作、下厨,
Finally school time rolled around and Lucas had to attend classes.He was juggling a lot at once.so now he rolled his hours back to part-time, and had to make sure he attended class every single day, so he didn't fall behind.Regardless of how he felt he always went. He went to class, came home and worked and then cooked dinner and breakfast,
直到开学。卢卡斯必须同时应付很多事 能用的时间有限,所以他改做兼职的工作,并确保自己每堂课都能出席,免得落后其他同学。不顾一切,每天按表操课,去上学、去工作、煮晚餐、备早餐,
Lucas kept this up for the whole time in college. He was able to put himself through college and graduate with honors.He landed a good-paying job upon graduation and maintained his good habits.Eventually he was able to put his younger sister to college as well.He got married and eventually so did his sister.They remain best friends throughout life,and they reminisced on how happy their mother would have been of Lucas.
这样的日子持续了他整个大学时期。他没有中途休学放弃还以优异成绩毕业,毕业后他得到了高薪的工作并维持着他这个生活作息。最后他也让妹妹进了大学,他与妹妹各自成家,他们一直维持着良好的关系。想象着母亲会多为卢卡斯感到开心。
How he turned his life around and went from lazy and out of control to in control of his destiny and the true king of his fate. He became disciplined, but how did he do it?The first big thing for Lucas was a strong reason why. When his mother passed,he had a north star to become the man of the house and take care of his younger sister.It was literally do or die.
卢卡斯扭转了自己的人生。从原本的放荡不羁,变成自己命运的主宰者,他变得如此自律。他是怎么办到的?对他来说最重要的就是「动机」。他母亲过世后,一家之主和照顾妹妹的责任一直引领着他,别无选择。
Studies showed that a strong motivating reason why allows people to tap into willpower reserves that they might otherwise not have been able to.This reminds me of those movies where you see the boxer down to his last bits of energy in the final round,but then he has a flashback a powerful memory of why he's doing this.Perhaps winning against all odds in memory of someone close to him who passed away.
研究显示,强烈的动机能激发人们潜在能力。这让我想到某些拳击电影, 拳击手进入最后一回,但只剩一点力气时,强烈的回忆突然涌现 回忆起当时成为拳击手的原因,可能为了纪念某位逝去的亲人而克服了一切困难。
Studies also show that a strong motivating reason why may only act as a buffer or a temporary solution to increase, willpower and that willpower still does have a finite limit. In our example,Lucas had a strong motivating reason for why he was trying to become more responsible,but that doesn't mean that reason can motivate him to do an infinite amount of things for an infinite amount of time,So he tried to work at a part-time job, take care of his sister, try to get a perfect 4.0 GPA,and learn to play the guitar all at once.It would be difficult if not impossible regardless of how strong his motivating reason why was.
研究还提到,强烈的动机对提高意志力可能只有暂时的效用,而这意志力也将受局限 举例来说,强烈动机赋予卢卡斯负责感,但这不能促使他完成无限多的事,他不只努力工作照顾妹妹维持好成绩,还学习演奏吉他,无论他的动机有多强大这听起来很困难的事却不是不可能的。
But in our case Lucas started by focusing on one task only, which was work. You want to work every day,once that became a habit he directed,his willpower and self-discipline onto another, singular activity which was cooking followed by school,And that's the key to be wise with how we spend our self-discipline.
卢卡斯一开始只专注在一件事上工作,他每天都工作,工作一旦成了习惯,他的意志力和自制力转换到了其他事情上,下厨和上学,这就是自制力该怎么使用的关键。
and to use it on singular activities and turn them into habits before moving on to another activity.The first habit could have been a simple,as drinking water every day or making his bed every morning,When an activity becomes a habit,it drains a lot less willpower.
一次专注在一件事上,把它变成习惯 再做下一件事。第一个习惯可以很简单,像是每天喝水或每天早上整理床铺,这件事变成习惯后,意志力的使用也会变少。卢卡斯一样遇到了许多人也认为很为难的事。
Lucas also faced a dilemma that many people trying to be disciplined encounter.Peer pressure.His friends represented a temptation into his old life.An easier life requiring a lot less responsibility.There were two reasons Lucas was able to overcome this dilemma.He had a strong reason why and he planned for temptation, in fact he's the very specific technique known as the if-then technique.
同侪压力,他的朋友成了对旧时生活的诱惑,那个简单、不需要负责的生活,有两原因支持着卢卡斯解决了这个难题,他有强烈的动机,他还使用了对付诱惑的方案,这个特别方案为「假如—则」。
He had planned that if his friends asked him to go out and party,then he would tell them that he had to tutor his sister and cook dinner.This is a pre-planned decision of self control,and avoided him having to exercise willpower to resist the temptation.This is a great strategy to use, when we anticipate that there will be times when temptations will arise and our willpower might be low.It's an automatic and pre-planned response to temptation.
他设计 『假如』他的朋友找他出去玩,他『则』会说「他得教妹妹功课和煮晚餐」,利用自制力预先做出决策,诱惑来临时才不会使用意志力对抗,这是是个相当好的策略。尤其当我们预知自己将有诱惑力强大而意志力薄弱的时刻,这个应对诱惑的策略已事先计划并会自动运作。
Studies show that practicing self-discipline increases self-discipline in subsequent acts. It's like a muscle.
研究显示,自制力会透过锻炼而持续增加,就像肌肉。
By finding his strong reason why,
1. 寻找强大动机
developing his discipline through singular activities
2. 专注约束自己做好一件事
and pre-planning for temptations,
3. 预先做好对付诱惑的计划
Lucas was able to become more disciplined and overcome his adversities
透过以上三个原则卢卡斯更有自制力,也度过了许多难关。