小学生作文写不好?给你看,全是100分......(2)
接上篇
今天继续发送第二小组百分作文
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这篇的点评特别长,这里用文字摘录如下
点评
怎么说呢?我倒觉得这篇文章还不错。虽说条理上有些零乱,但其中不乏有好的句子,可以看出该同学还是有一定的语言表达功底,语感还是不错的。我们来一起看看这些语言有多美,多么得富有诗情画意吧☺
秋风乍起
那是秋天写给每个人的一封信
告诉大家
夏天已经走了
秋天来了
走出城市
你会看到满地黄灿灿的落叶
只有枝头的少许叶子在风中摇曳
还有少许的鸟儿留在巢穴
一眼望去
无边的稻谷金光闪闪
苹果穿上了红袍
石榴咧开了肚皮
南飞的大雁排成了人字形
捉蚂蚱的孩子
在草地上活蹦乱跳
脚下的蚂蚁
正忙碌地寻找食物准备过冬
......
秋天真的来了
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今天是第二组的
【未完待续】
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小手一抖,立马转走!
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