读后续写（教学案）---动物篇

题目（选自英语周报高三第十期 2020.9.4）

第二节(满分25分)

阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。

“ I don’t want to go.” Gina moved her feet slightly and hung her shoulders.

Mom continued packing a bag. “We’re going to Uncle Rich’s in Montana for summer vacation. He’s Dad’s brother, andwe go every year.”

Gina stormed out of her mom’sroom. “Nobody ever thinks of me.”

“That’ s enough. We’ re going,' replied Mom angrily.

Their August vacation came soonerthan Gina wanted. Before she knew it, she and the family were at Uncle Rich’sranch (牧场).Uncle Rich grabbed her dad and hugged him. “Good to see you,' said UncleRich.

Gina’s brother and sister were twins and two years younger, so they didn’ t realize what an inconvenience and bore being on a ranchwas. They raced to see animals. Gina grabbed her bag. I’ m going tomy room,' she told her parents.

“Wait a minute, Gina,' said Uncle Rich. I’ve got something toshow you.' You come too,' he said to Gina’s parents.

At the pen, Gina saw the horse.It was of medium size. It had a fine, soft black coat and one white foot. Therewas a wide white patch (斑纹) that ran down the center of its face.Gina fell in love with it at first sight. “Wow! What a horse.”

“He’ s a mustang,” said Uncle Rich. Mustangs are free horseswho live in the wild. We found him stuck in the mud down by the river.I didn’t know how he got there. Mу friend and I roped him andmanaged to get him out. This mustang is a beauty.'

Gina kicked the dirt. “Can I helpcare for him?”

Uncle Rick laughed. “You bet. Themore hands we have the better. Just don’t get too attached. Once we’re sure he’sOkay, we’ll let him loose. Mustangs went from over a million at the beginningof the 20^th century to less than 17,000 in 1970. They were huntedfor meat.”

注意:

1.续写词数应为150左右;

2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答

Ginafelt her stomach turn. ___________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Shewas back in a flash. ___________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

原文词汇积累：

1.“ I don’t want to go.” Gina moved her feet slightly and hung her shoulders.

2.Gina stormed out of her mom’s room. “Nobodyever thinks of me.”

3.Uncle Rich grabbed her dad and hugged him. (excited)

4.They (Gina’s brother and sister) raced to see animals. (excited,curious)

5.At the pen, Gina saw the horse. It was of medium size. It had a fine, soft blackcoat and one white foot. There was a wide white patch (斑纹)that ran down the center of its face. Gina fell in love with it at first sight.“Wow! What a horse.” (动物描写)

6.The more hands we have, the better.

7.Once we’re sure he’s Okay, we’ll let him loose. (复合句)

参考答案：

Gina felt her stomach turn.  “That’s terrible. How could someone be socruel to these adorable animals? Some actions should be taken to protect them,” Gina said. “Don’t worry too much. It’s better now,” said Uncle Rich. “The government came to the rescue. There are around 50,000 now.” Hearing this,Gina breathed a sigh of relief. And still holding her bag, Gina raced to her room. She kicked off her sneakers and pulled on the boots that Uncle Rich had prepared for her.

She was back in a flash. She went to the fence and stepped on it.The mustang walked over to her slowly. Gina put her hand on his forehead. Themustang gently shook his head and then ran away from her. At that moment, Ginawas determined to learn how to care for sick large animals in college.Moreover, she was now glad she had come to the ranch. She was sure she would have an unforgettable vacation.

学生作文 （仿写）

Gina felt her stomach turn. It came as a shock for her to hear the fact and the shocking data. Feeling sympathetic towards them, Gina replied with a serious voice, “I promise to take great care of him!” “I trust you,” Uncle Rich said with a gentle voice. At that time, Gina changed her mind and was willing to stay at Uncle Rich’s ranch. “When can I take over the mustang?” Gina said. “Now!” Hearing what Uncle Rich said, Gina danced for joy, raced to her room and pulled on the boots that Uncle Richhad prepared for her.

She was back in a flash. Gina dashed to the fence. She looked at the horse with a fond look. The horse seemed to feel her kindness, sniffing her. Meanwhile, Gina touched the horse’s fluffy head. At the moment, Gina was determined to protect the wild animals in the future, wanting to create a better world. She held the view that she would enjoy a meaningful vacation. （155W）徐正辉

根据马教授的评价指标给 20分

（第一段94个词，略长，第二段略短。学生原文中promise为guarantee，其他没改。）

评价指标---南京师范大学马广惠教授、博士生导师

1.      句类分布的一致性

续写文中各种句子类型的分布与前文是否大体一致？续写文是否充分使用了前文的句式？续写文在某种句子类型的使用上是否不同于前文？如果有，使用的是否合理？

*句子类型：简单句、复合句、复杂句，有（没有）非谓语动词结构句

2.      句长分布与功能的一致性

续写文中长短句的比例与前文是否大体一致？续写文中长短句的分布是否与前文一致？续写文中的长短句在修辞功能上与前文是否一致？

3.      词汇分布的一致性

续写文使用的词汇是否与前文大体一致？续写文是否充分利用了前文的词汇和短语？续写文使用的词汇是否明显低于或超出了前文的词汇范围？

4      叙事角度的一致性

续写文叙事的角度是否与前文一致？续写文是否存在叙事角度不断变化的情况？

5.      主题一致性

续写文部分与前文部分是否可以在整体上很好地表现某个主题？

6.      语言规范契合性

续写文中是否存在明显的语法或用词不当错误？续写文中是否有不符合英语常规表达方式的句子？

7.      书写

续写文的书写是否清晰、规整？（First Impression Effect）

动物描写

狗

1.Upon his master’s arrival, the dog leapt to his feet ，snorted happily and bounded forward.主人一到，狗就跳起来，高兴地哼着鼻子，蹦蹦跳跳地向前跳去。

2. He stretched, shook himself and circled several times before dropping to the ground.他伸了个懒腰，摇了晃，绕了几圈才倒在地上。

3. The dog wandered off to resther noses in her paws.那条狗走开了，用爪子捂住鼻子。

4. Dogs take much pleasure inrolling and rubbing their necks and backs with their paws.那条狗走开了，把鼻子搁在她身上爪子。狗喜欢用爪子滚动和摩擦它们的脖子和后背。

5. Seeing the meat inthe master’s hand, the little dog wagged its tail and watched with hopeful eyes.看到主人手里的肉，小狗摇着尾巴，充满希望地看着。

6. At the sight of a stranger approaching the house, the dog watched him, ears up, head slightly cocked. 看到一个陌生人走近房子，那条狗看着他，竖起耳朵，头微微翘起。

7. The dog, when intently watching and slowly approaching the prey, kept one of its fore-legs doubled up for a long time, ready for the next cautious step.这只狗，当专心地注视着猎物，慢慢靠近猎物时，它的一只前腿长时间地蜷缩着，为下一步的谨慎行动做好了准备。

8. The dog gotworried, crawling up around the old man’s feet asif to seek for safety and warmth. 狗很着急，爬到老人的脚边，好像在寻求安全和温暖。

9. Brady kept barking at them anxiously and continuously.布雷迪不停地对他们不停地吠叫。

10. These men wanteddogs that were heavy, with strong muscles for working hard and furrycoats to protect them from cold.这些人想要的狗很重，有强壮的肌肉来工作，有毛茸茸的外套来保护他们不受冻。

南京一模（2021）

题目：It had been a few months since our beloved boxer (拳师狗) Bama had passed away. He’d lived a good, long life. Alan and I didn’t have children. Our boxer was our baby.

After Bama’s death, we couldn’t bring ourselves to go through his toys to decide what to keep, so we put them all in the basement. I told myselfI’d do it when I was ready. Apparently, I still wasn’t.

Now I sat in my yard and wept. Friends and family had suggested we get another dog, but Alan and I dismissed the idea. We couldn’t go through that kind of heartbreak again.

I gazed out over the yard. Across the street was a dog. A boxer. I wiped the tears from my eyes, heart beating wildly. Was he real or just my wishful imagination? I took a second look. The boxer was still there. We locked eyes.He ran across the street, straight toward me. I offered my hand. He sniffed iteagerly, bushy tail wagging. He licked me.

This dog was younger than Bama, smaller. He was well-fed and clean.He wore a collar but had no ID. I knew he must belong to someone in theneighborhood, but I’d never seen another boxer around.

The dog lay down beside my feet, his tongue lolling(of your head, tongue, etc. 头、舌等) 耷拉；下垂  in a doggie smile. He didn’tseem lost. Just as if he were dropping by for a visit.

“Alan!” I called. “You have to come see this!”

Alan joined me, and we sat together silently for a moment. Then theboxer got up and walked off. In the following days, he’d sometimes appear inthe backyard when Alan and I were outside. Other times, he’d wait for us on thefront porch.

With each visit, I could feel the ache in my heart lessen. Seeinghim was helping me work through my deep sorrow.

At work one day, a young man and an older woman I’d never seenbefore came in.

I took down the man’s address to complete some paperwork and noticedhe lived up the street from me.

His name was Tanner. The woman with him was his grandmother. He and his family had recently moved from Georgia.

参考答案：

“Do you happen to havea dog?” I asked.“We do,” he said.“Is he a boxer?”“Yes, my dog Axle is a boxer.”“Ihave met him on a lot of occasions. He has actually been paying me regular visits.” The moment he heard what I said, Tanner looked surprised andembarrassed. “I am so sorry,” he said. “We are building a fence, but it is notdone yet and Axle keeps getting out. I hope he didn’t cause you all anytrouble.”

“Not at all! Actually,he was a big help.” I said. I told him about my Bama and the comfort Axle brought to us. It has been three years since that day. Tanner and his family have become good friends of ours. Alan and I see them often—along with Axle,the boxer who brought all of us together. Now Bama’s toys don’t just sit in thebasement, gathering dust. Alan and I keep them out for Axle to enjoy wheneverhe comes over to visit. (150W)

鹿

Severallarge deer appeared threatening in front of him. But Billy walked right up tothem. I almost screamed for him to get away. And I sawa baby deer lying on the ground，obviouslysuffering from heavy loss of water and heat exhaustion，lift its head with great effort to lap(舔饮) up thewater in my beautiful boy's hand.

as quickly as a deer

狼

1. Pale-yellow eyes narrowed. Black lips tightened,exposing double sets of two-inch fangs. Suddenly the wolf trembled. Its teethclacked, and a piteous whine rose from its throat.

2. (Reluctantly, Becky got up and kissed the wolf onthe nose before she walked slowly into my outstretched arms.) Sad yelloweyes followed her. Then the wolf’s head sank to the ground.

3. Thinking of the wolf’s bloody mouth, Mac was nearlydead with fright. He could even imagine the wolf’s teeth tearing into hisflesh. Just at that moment, the door was unlocked by Becky and thefrightened man dived in, shutting the door just before the wolf pounced onhim. So angry was the wolf that it kept roaring and smacking the window violently.